Where Our Horizons Meet
by regalfangirl
Summary: When a song playing on the ambulance radio saves Regina from dying, she immediately contacts the band, thanking them. What she didn't know was that by sending that thank-you note, she entered the mind of a particular blonde named Emma - and she's been walking around there ever since. Rated M for future chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello there!**

**This is my first chapter fic, my first chapter story ever, to be exact, so I'm really looking forward to working on this. Reviews are highly appreciated! That's what an author feeds on, after all :) ****I hope you'll like this story of mine! If all goes well, there's much more to come.**

* * *

_**May 24th**_

Emma tossed back her shot of tequila and scrunched her face as the awful taste burned in her throat. She bit down on her lime as hard as possible and sucked at it until no drop of juice was left. Ruby laughed as she took her own shot, not seeming to care too much about the taste.

"How can you just _do _that?" Emma half-shouted as the music at the bar pounded loudly in her ears, "It's so gross."

Ruby wiggled her eyebrows and smirked as she licked the remaining drops of lime off her lips.

"Years of practice."

Emma puffed out a breath as Ruby laughed again, tossing her dark locks over her shoulder.

"Oh come on, Em, don't be so grumpy. Tequila's not for everyone. It just happens to be for me."

Emma rolled her eyes and asked the bartender for a beer, her own personal favorite. She took a long sip as it was sat down in front of her. When she could no longer sense the tequila in her mouth, she smiled widely at Ruby and turned around to face the dance floor. She quickly scanned the room. Mostly drunk teens with fake ID's. She still had to get used to the fact that she didn't need hers. It was a Thursday night, which meant school the next day. Except for Emma of course, who was off on Fridays. Not that many of these teens cared about school anyway. Emma once again blessed her work-schedule as she'd done so many times before. Teaching first grade could be a blast, but it could sure as hell also be a pain in the ass. Only doing it four times a week made it less of a pain. She loved having these long weekends. Long weekends meant more time to work on her songs. It gave her more time to herself, and that was something she had always cherished. And of course, time to practice with her band, _Skyfires._

She suddenly felt a smack on her ass and turned to see Ruby grinning, while eagerly pointing in the direction of a brunette sipping a Strawberry Daiquiri in one of the booths at the bar. She was wearing a tight, black dress that showed too much of her cleavage and hugged her waist so tightly Emma wondered if she was even able to breath.

"She's hot! Go talk to her!" Ruby's voice sounded shrill from shouting over the sound of the music. Emma shook her head.

"Not my type."

Ruby sighed heavily.

"No one is your type. Either they're too much of this or too little of that. You're so damn picky it's starting to get on my nerves." She threw back another shot of tequila before crossing her arms over her chest.

"I think both you and I know it's been getting on your nerves for quite some time", Emma said and winked at the brunette. That earned her a smack on the shoulder from Ruby, and she rubbed at the now sore spot while laughing.

"I don't know what it is with you and this crazy obsession with finding me a girlfriend", Emma said.

"It's not crazy!" Ruby threw her hands up in frustration, "You're a hot lesbian without any lesbian experience. _That's_ what's crazy. You've got to get yourself some pu—"

Emma threw a hand over Ruby's mouth and pinned her with a glare.

"Shut. Up." The blonde kept her hand over Ruby's mouth until the brunette caved and nodded.

"Fine. But it's true. You can't call yourself Japanese until you've had some sushi," Ruby said and wiggled her eyebrows again. Emma just rolled her eyes.

"What's that even supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

The two young women continued to drink, and Ruby continued to point at possible girls for Emma to go home with, which the blonde continued shrugging off. It wasn't until the bar was almost empty and the sun was rising did they leave. Emma alone, Ruby with her hand in the pocket of a tall football player.

* * *

Regina hurriedly scribbled in her notebook, trying to follow what the lecturer was saying. She found this class horribly boring. She didn't care for statistics. She could not see the use of learning this. It wasn't like she would ever use it in the future. If there was one thing she hated about University life, it was this class. Not that she was particularly fond of anything surrounding her education. The bitter realization of her parent's 'betrayal' came creeping back to her mind.

"_We've signed you up for Harvard, darling."_

"_What? But I thought I could choose for myself?"_

"_Well yes sweetheart, but you were taking awfully long, and appliance needed to be done. Besides, Harvard is your best possible opportunity. What else could you possibly have in mind?"_

Regina curled her lip. A bittersweet taste lingered in her mouth as she thought back to this moment. Her parents knew nothing. Nothing about her, her dreams. Or maybe they knew but chose to 'forget' due to their own neatly thought-out plans for their daughter. But they loved her deeply, she knew as much. And she couldn't bear to let them down. She wanted them to be proud of her. Especially her mother. Which was why she hadn't said anything when they'd shoved Harvard University in her face.

"_Nothing, mother. Nothing at all."_

"_Well that settles it then. Starting this year, you'll be studying business at the University of Harvard."_

_Regina's parents wrapped her in a tight three-way hug. Her father kissed her hair softly._

"_We're so proud of you, honey."_

Even now, almost a year later, tears appeared in the corner of her eyes. No matter what they made her endure, those words from her parents made up for it all. She could deal with hours and hours of statistics, finances, and marketing if it meant her parents proudly smiling at her when she graduated.

She felt a nudge against her side. As she turned her head she found Kathryn, blonde and blue-eyed, looking at her skeptically. Regina smiled a tight smile.

"What's wrong? You've been staring into the air for the past ten minutes," Kathryn whispered.

Regina shook her head slightly, realizing that indeed, she had.

"I was just…lost in my own thoughts, I guess."

Kathryn gave her a tender smile and stroked her arm. It was almost as if she knew exactly what had been going on inside Regina's head. And if she had guessed, she would most likely had guessed right. Kathryn knew Regina way better than Regina cared to admit. And well, vice versa.

"Fifteen minutes left till freedom. Don't forget, my house, tonight, 8 o'clock." Kathryn smiled brightly.

Regina giggled silently. She'd forgotten that Kathryn had planned for her and the last member of their trio, Belle, to have a little 'party' at her house this Thursday. None of them had lectures until noon the next day, so _"might as well take advantage", _as Kathryn had put it.

"I'll be there. But _you _remember, as far as my parents are concerned, it's just a cozy sleepover with PJ's and hair-braiding."

Both young women had to laugh, earning them a few looks from other students. _All of these people are so ridiculously up tight, _Regina thought to herself. No wonder Kathryn was the only friend she'd made in all of her classes. Apart from Belle, but she was studying education and therefore, they had no classes together. They'd all met at the walk-through of the first day.

"I guess I'll cancel the male stripper, then," Kathryn joked.

Regina clammed a hand over her mouth, choking down her laughter. She would never understand for what reasons Kathryn was studying something as dry and boring as business. _"I couldn't make up my mind, so I left it up to fate." Eeny, meeny, miny, moe _that was. At least that was the explanation she'd once received from Kathryn, after having shared three bottles of white wine.

The lecturer finally dismissed the class, and everyone collected their things and headed for the door of the auditorium. Kathryn gave Regina a peck on the cheek as they parted ways.

"See you at eight."

"I'll bring the wine."

* * *

_**May 25th**_

The next day, Emma woke up with a blinding headache and a furry mouth. She blamed Ruby as much as she blamed the tequila. She opened one eye halfway to look at her phone. It was 9am. _Damn it. _How she hated that no matter what, she was unable to sleep in. She'd slept three good hours. She turned over in her bed and felt her stomach do a flip. She froze, lying perfectly still as she waited for the nausea to pass. As it did, she groaned loudly over her own misery and tugged the duvet up around her ears. She knew she wouldn't go back to sleep, but she wished that just for once, she would. As the minutes passed and her stomach started growling along with her pounding head, she decided there was no point in hoping for a miracle, and threw the duvet aside. She sat up slowly, not wanting to anger her already upset stomach. Luckily, both her parents were at work, so they wouldn't have to see her like this. _Adoptive parents_, she corrected herself.

As Emma rose from the bed she knocked over a glass of water from three hours ago. It splashed meters ahead, soaking all her previous notes for her next lesson that were lying on the floor. _Shit. Shit shit. Fuck this. _In a rush she pulled her t-shirt over her head and laid it down on the pool of water, trying to soak it up before it completely ruined her work. As her t-shirt got soaked through, she threw it away and collected her papers, laying them out to dry in the window. She continued to curse herself as she cleaned up her mess. _Well done Swan, fucking well done. _As far as she could see, her notes were still readable and her lesson was saved. She picked another t-shirt from her closet and pulled it over her head, heading for the kitchen.

As she gulped down her second glass of water and ate her sweet cereal, Emma's body started to complain less. She sat in the window looking over their front yard, her skin warm from the sunlight shining through the glass. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the silence for a few moments. She really loved being alone. With no-one to judge her, no one to stand up to, no one but herself and her own thoughts. Even though they did get awfully loud sometimes. _Music, _she thought to herself and got up to turn on the stereo. The soft tones of _Daughter _filled the living room and she immediately relaxed. She walked back to the window and sat down, crunching her cereal and sipping her water. It was only 9:40am by now, and she wondered what she might get this day to go by with. _Endless possibilities. _For now she'd just enjoy the peacefulness of being on her own with a bad hangover.

She glanced over the walls of the living room, walls covered in family pictures that had only recently started to feature herself. She'd been adopted by Mary Margaret and David Nolan at the age of 16, which would make it almost five years ago. Pictures of them at the beach, at restaurants, her graduation, the first time they took her to a bar when she turned 18. Or rather a pub. She was still trying to get used to the surroundings of Devon, England. Up until she was passed on to the Nolan's, she'd only ever circulated families in the U.S. It had been a terrifying experienced to be pulled from her home country at only 16. But she'd soon settled in with Mary Margaret and David. And truth was, she'd never been happier.

She'd been passed on to 10 different families during her short life, but it was the first time she'd ever felt like she was _a part _of a family. Her parents loved her deeply, she could tell. And they did everything that stood in their power to prove it to her. Apart from family and love, the sexy British accent she'd gotten during the years was also on the plus side. She chuckled to herself. She'd started talking to herself a lot after she realized how sexy she sounded all of a sudden.

Emma's thoughts were interrupted as her phone made the chiming sound of a received email. She picked it up and furrowed her brows. It was from her band's YouTube account. Someone had commented on a video.

* * *

Regina sat at her desk, body aching and head pounding. She stared at her laptop, eyes wide and scanning the screen attentively. Her mind was still hazy, but even so, one particular part of the previous night stood as clear as daylight. She typed something new in the search bar. _I have to know. I just have to know. _She felt as if she couldn't move on without knowing. And even though that might seem "_overly dramatic and ridiculous"_, as her mother had told her when she'd kept rambling about having to look it up on her laptop, Regina knew she wouldn't be able to sleep peacefully if she didn't know. _It saved my life. I have to know who made it. And thank them_. She cleared her throat. It still felt achy and a bit too tight after last night, but the doctors had said she'd be just fine. The only thing she'd now have to worry about was reassuring Kathryn that she should not feel guilty.

Regina tried picking at her memory, willing herself to remember. She recalled the chilly air as she was carried to the ambulance. She recalled the smell of chemicals and metal. The burning in her chest. How her world kept leaping in and out of darkness. She remembered the heartfelt plea of someone telling her to hold on. She remembered thinking she was going to die. She remembered that she almost did. But then those words had echoed in her head. The words that had kept her eyes from rolling back in her head again. And the voice singing them.

"_You're still alive, your story's not over_

_Pick your heart's pieces up_

_Your blood is thicker than water _

_Can you feel the flood in your arteries?_

_That is your life calling from underneath."_

_Yes! _There it was. What she'd been trying to remember ever since she'd woken up in the hospital bed. _The lyrics_. The lyrics to the song that had been playing in the ambulance's radio. Regina did a little jump in her chair and eagerly clapped her hands together. She typed in the words, and awaited her Wi-Fi to cooperate and give her an answer. As the search ended, on top of the page was a link to a video. She clicked it.

Regina was unconsciously holding her breath as the video opened and music started playing from her laptop. As she recognized the tune and lyrics, tears suddenly sprung to her eyes. It was so immensely beautiful. The depth to the powerful words was indescribable. And the specific part that Regina had remembered was truly what had kept her on the right side of life. _You're still alive, your story's not over_. She laughed at how perfect it had actually fit.

As Regina took a look at the actual music video, it was easy to see that this was not professionally made. It couldn't be a known band. However, it didn't bother her. It didn't really matter. The music was what she focused on. And the lead singer. A blonde woman stood at the center of the setup, microphone in front of her and guitar in hand. Her head was bend down towards her guitar, curly locks covering her face, making Regina unable to see her face. But the raspy sound of her vibrant voice was as clear-cut as crystal. Regina watched her, not taking notice to whoever was playing the remaining instruments.

As the blonde reached the sentence _"Can you feel the flood in your arteries?"_ she raised her head and looked into the camera. The video cut to a close-up of her face and Regina gasped slightly. She felt the tiny hairs on her body rise as she looked into emerald eyes shining with emotion. Her heart fluttered in her chest as she took in the sight. _She's beautiful. She's absolutely beautiful._

Regina continued to replay the video for another half hour, and then decided to make a comment, expressing her gratitude. She did realize how utterly insane she sounded when explaining her reasons for leaving a comment, but frankly, she didn't care. _I might have died if it hadn't been for this song._ She pressed post. As soon as her comment was sent, she decided to dig into this band she'd discovered. Apparently, their name was _Skyfires_. Interesting. It consisted of not more than three people – a bass-player, a drummer, and a guitarist/lead singer. The blonde. Or as their band profile informed – _Emma Swan._


	2. Chapter 2

**First of all, I want to give a big THANK YOU to everyone that has followed, favorited and reviewed this so far! It really means more to me than words can express. You're all wonderful. Getting feedback is what gives me inspiration to keep going. Which brings me to my second of all - here you go, chapter 2 of Where Our Horizons Meet. I hope you'll all enjoy where I'll eventually take this story. There is much more to come!**

* * *

_**May 25th**_

Emma had read the post by _R. Mills_ over and over again, weighing the words in her head. She was still reading it now that the clock rang 11:00 am. This woman, whoever she was, claimed to have been saved by one of the songs that Emma herself had written. For the life of her, Emma couldn't comprehend this. She read the post once again, chewing on her nails.

_Dear Skyfires._

_Dear Miss Swan._

_I wanted to express my gratitude. Now that I'm turning the words over in my head, I realize how crazy I actually sound. But I'll continue nonetheless…_

_This song, 'Ice water', saved my life. Last night I found myself in an ambulance, fighting for my life. At one point I was sure I was going to die. But then this song came on the radio… I can't explain to you what happened, but for some reason, listening to these words and the voice of you, Miss Swan, saved me from letting go. It touched me on a deep level that literally made my life call from underneath._

_There. I said it. Now you may laugh if you want to, but every word is true and I would rather risk you thinking I'm nuts than not telling you how much this song now means to me. I will continue to listen to your other songs. Consider me one of your biggest fans._

_Thank you. Thank you for saving my life._

_R. Mills._

Emma blinked as tears filled her eyes once again, and she rubbed angrily at them, refusing to get this emotional. _What the hell_. The three words that had been roaming around in her head for over an hour. She was stunned. Stunned beyond any other words and she was still having trouble actually believing that this R. Mills wasn't indeed, full of shit. But there was something in the careful choice of words and how she pictured this woman writing them that made her believe the sincerity in them. She shook her head. _Don't get ahead of yourself, Swan._

Emma finally jumped off the window frame and stretched her aching body. Her head was only pounding a tiny bit now, so the worst of her hangover had already passed. She decided she would take a shower before answering the Madame behind the post. She needed to clear her head. But she wouldn't discuss it with either Ruby or August before answering her. Even though they were the rest of the band. It did seem like her post was directed mostly at Emma anyway…

As the cascades of scolding water soaked her hair and body, Emma couldn't help but wonder who this woman was, how she looked like. Based on the post, she pictured her as a pretty up-tight rich bitch. But then again, all she did was be polite and use fancy words now and then. Emma felt like there was something more to her. The whole situation about her "being saved by the song" suggested that she was a pretty serious dreamer. Creative. Passionate. Intelligent. Funny. Beautiful.

Emma shook her head again and mentally slapped herself. What the hell was she even doing, standing in her shower, fantasizing about a complete stranger. She could be a fat, forty-year-old woman with a mustache and twenty-five cats. She sighed deeply and wrapped herself in a towel as she got out of the shower. As she got dressed and dried her hair she thought about what she could respond to her secret admirer. _Shut up, Swan._

* * *

"I can't believe you actually wrote the band, Regina. You're insane."

Kathryn stroked Regina's hair with the brush again, before starting on the French braid. After yesterday, the girls had decided that old-fashioned hair braiding should be their deal for a little while. Belle spoke up next.

"I don't think it's insane. It's quite amazing, in my opinion. I mean the fact that this song... Did something to you. It's like..."

"Like magic," Regina said, finishing Belle's sentence and earning four very raised eyebrows before loud laughter filled her room.

"Not literally! I just mean... Whatever." Regina clucked her tongue and shook her head at her still laughing friends.

The face of blonde locks and emerald eyes popped into her mind again and made her shiver. She closed her eyes for a brief moment. _What is going on with you, silly? You don't even know her._ All she knew was that she was a beautiful woman with a beautiful voice and a beautiful name that was most likely laughing her probably beautiful ass elsewhere over Regina right this second. She chuckled silently before looking up at her laughing friends and pinning them with a stare. _Huh_. Payback was due.

"Well, if it weren't for _you two_ I wouldn't have had any reason to contact them, would I now?"

Both young women clammed up instantly. Kathryn looked as if she was a puppy that Regina had just kicked furiously. She even saw a tear linger in the corner of the blonde's eye. Belle put a comforting hand on Kathryn's shoulder and avoided eye contact with Regina.

"That was a low blow," said the brunette.

Regina swallowed thickly.

"No, I'm... I'm sorry. That was not fair. Not at all. I'm sorry."

They both continued keeping their eyes down. Regina felt her stomach knot up as she was overflown with guilt.

"I'm sorry girls, please. You know my mouth is sometimes faster than my brain and I have this horrible bitch bone that shows now and then." Regina fiddled with her hands, feeling horribly uncomfortable. "You shouldn't feel guilty. None of you could have foreseen what happened. Please stop looking like this. Show me your beautiful smiles."

That earned her two very small but visible smiles. She mentally squealed with glee. She wrapped her arms around both women in a big bear hug. Soon, giggles and broad smiles were all shared between the three of them. They continued to chat away about meaningless stories about school, make-up and boys.

What was going on inside Regina's head was a different story. Her thoughts were occupied by a certain Emma Swan. Even though Regina tried being present and enjoy the conversation, Emma kept popping back into her mind. She had no idea as to why. This unnerving feeling had settled within her ever since she'd seen the face of her savior. And even as she tried telling herself it was just admiration and gratitude, a voice inside her head kept screaming that it was something completely different. _But what…_

She watched the clock closely as the hours passed. For some reason she couldn't wait for her friends to leave. She needed to be alone with her thoughts. _And see if Emma has replied_. She shook her head at herself once again. _This is crazy. You're crazy. _Nonetheless, after dinner was served by her parents and both Belle and Kathryn had left, Regina found herself skipping steps on the stairs towards her room, rushing in to start up her laptop.

As it came to life and she opened her email-account, she caught herself holding her breath. And as she saw the email from Emma waiting to be read, her heart leaped into her throat and she swallowed thickly. _Jeez. Calm down. _She clicked it with trembling fingers. She really had to get a hold of herself, because this was far out of line. But she'd solve that later.

_Hi R. Mills._

_Madame._

_After staring at your post for like forever, I finally thought I'd better answer you._

_First of all, I'd like to thank you for this. My music is everything to me, and the fact that 'Ice Water' basically saved your life, well that is pretty fucking amazing. So yeah… thanks and all._

_I didn't laugh and I won't laugh. You've earned my respect. And I have to say, I'm intrigued by you. Which brings me to my second of all – what other music do you listen to?_

_Emma._

Regina furrowed her brows. She read the message again; just to be sure she'd gotten it right. Emma didn't find her insane. She believed her. And she respected her. This alone was enough to make Regina smile broadly. And as she read the blunt question again, she laughed. Loud and carefree, and she didn't know why. She wasn't laughing at Emma though. She just felt happy, like she had to laugh simply because emotions were bubbling inside her and had to spill in some way.

Then she started thinking. _What music do I even listen to?_ Suddenly she felt like she didn't have any taste in music. Not that she had bad taste – she just didn't have any. And it bugged her immensely because she wanted to give Emma a good answer. _Just think of something. One artist. _In a moment of desperation she opened up her iTunes and scrolled through the mess it was. After too many minutes of nothing, she stumbled upon an orange cover. _Ed Sheeran! I adore him_. She jumped in her chair and clapped her hands together eagerly. With renewed hope she typed in her answer.

_Dear Miss Swan._

_Thank you, for your kindness. I'm beyond happy that you think so, that you feel like this. I really did fear that you would find me utterly insane. My friends seem to think so of me… So, you're very welcome._

_I just realized how bad I am at answering questions like this. Which is why I don't have much of an answer to offer you. But anyhow – I love Ed Sheeran. His lyrics are almost as beautiful as yours._

_May I ask you the same question?_

_R._

Regina bit her bottom lip and stared at her message. She debated whether to send it or not. She felt anxious as well as excited and she couldn't decide which feeling was the cause of the flips her stomach was doing. She closed her eyes and pressed send. _There. What harm can it do anyway?_

* * *

Emma jumped high as Ruby's words echoed in the microphone, making them even louder than they would have been were they not in their practicing studio.

"You did _what?_" Emma clammed her hands over her ears as the volume of Ruby's voice made the microphone screech.

"Calm your tits, Rubes. I said I answered this girl on YouTube already. She was very polite and very thankful and since she wrote 'Miss Swan' I figured I didn't need to talk to you guys about it."

"Don't you tell me to calm down! I have a reason to be mad. Emma, we're a _band_. We should make these kind of decisions together," she swung her bas onto her back so she could cross her arms over her chest, "This is so typically you."

Emma was about to protest but the rapid sound of drumsticks hammering against drums cut her off. August stopped his hammering when he had both women's attention.

"You two," he pointed one drumstick in their direction, "better stop this or I call it quits on today's practice. I've got things to do and places to be. I'm not gonna sit by while you bitch-fight. Em, under other circumstances we should discuss this beforehand, but since this girl seems to have a lesbian crush on you, all is good. Rubs – step away from the mic if you wanna be unreasonably loud. I plan to use my ears in the future."

Emma had to smirk at August's comment to Ruby, but as soon as the words directed to herself sunk in, she spoke up.

"Hey! Not cool, Gus. This has nothing to do with crushes or lesbians. I just felt like she deserved a personal answer… from me."

Ruby laughed contemptuously.

"Oh please," she walked over to the dusty computer standing in the corner of the room and read the post again, "Did you _read _this? '_Listening to these words and the voice of you…it touched me on a deep level_.'" Ruby turned towards Emma again and placed her hands on her hips. "This is a whole new kind of gay."

"Shut up," Emma pushed Ruby out of the way and exited the post. She walked towards her own microphone, "Let's just practice."

Ruby and August shared a knowing look and chose to let it go for now. But they both knew there was more to this story. Either Emma refused to acknowledge that or she just didn't want them to meddle. Ruby was convinced that this girl had already been staring in a dirty dream of Emma's, though.

Emma grabbed her guitar and instantly started playing the intro of the song they were about to play before Ruby had a terrible fit of overreaction. Emma could still feel the rage bubbling in her veins, but as the others joined in on the song and she started singing, everything faded away and was just background noise. The only thoughts still loud enough for her to hear were the thoughts of the mysterious R. Mills. _I've gotta ask for her first name. Or is that too stalkerish? What's not Swan, you asked a perfect stranger a personal question. _Lost in her head, she hit the wrong note entering the refrain and August had to drumbeat everyone correctly in again. She gave her band mates an apologetic smile. Damn this Madame. But Emma couldn't help it. Her curiosity concerning the other woman was enormous, and no matter how hard she tried telling herself to drop it and leave her alone, she couldn't. _What are the chances that our song played in the radio anyway. There's gotta be something else at work here..._

They continued to practice and Emma continued to screw up for the next hour. When it was late at night and time to do things and go places for August, Emma drove home faster than intended. David was out on a business dinner, but Mary Margaret was alive and kicking at home, eager to have a long chat with Emma about her day. Emma on the other hand, just wanted to duck into her room and check her email.

"How was your day, honey?" Mary Margaret gave Emma a wet kiss on her forehead.

"Good, fine, just right." Emma desperately tried to avoid any further digging into a conversation.

"What about practice? You did meet with Ruby and August today, right?"

"Yes, yes I did and it was just fine as well. All the same."

"Is something wrong, sweetheart?" Mary Margaret furrowed her small brows and looked at Emma with worry in her eyes. Emma instantly felt guilty.

"No, nothing at all mom, it's just been a long day and I still have this lesson plan I want to go over even though it's not until Tuesday."

Emma swallowed thickly. She hated lying to Mary Margaret. She was such a kind and amazing person and it felt like stealing candy from a kid. Nonetheless, she really wanted to see if the Madame had answered.

"Oh of course, honey. I'll let you go then. Did you eat?"

"Yes," Emma lied again, walking towards her room. She closed the door quickly behind her and exhaled. As the guilt slowly faded, she made her way to her laptop and started it up. Ten minutes later it was still not fully ready. _This damn thing is so slow and old. I should buy a new one. _She chewed on her nails as she waited for all the icons and stupid warning messages to pop up. When all was clear, she opened her email. And sure enough, there was a message from "R". She read through it and couldn't help but smirk. For some reason she'd thought Madame Mills wouldn't answer. _I guess I'm quite the charmer._ She read the compliment directed to her again. _Whoa. She really does think my music is beautiful. _Emma felt somehow proud of herself, which didn't happen often, but when it did, Emma knew it could get ugly. _Don't turn into a smug ass on her, Swan_. She felt even more intrigued by this woman now that she had shown some interest in return. So she cracked her fingers and started typing her answer.

_Hello '"R" (I feel like there should be a few more letters following here, or is it just me?)_

_No need to thank me. I'm simply speaking the truth. And I have to say, if that's true then those are some pretty shitty friends you have. No offense.  
__Anyway. It just so is that I fucking **love** Ed Sheeran, too. We've got something in common there.  
__But other than him… well, I listen to a lot of music. It's kinda my thing, but I guess you already figured that much. I like Daughter, The Neighbourhood, Ben Howard, Lauren Aquilina. I could pretty much go on, but I don't want to bore you._

_Next question – Do you dance/like to dance?_

_E. (You already know the following letters.)_

Emma looked at her message, again feeling pretty proud of herself. But also excited. Nervous, even. For some reason she really wanted this woman to like her. She was afraid she might be too blunt and weird or shit. But she didn't want to be pretentious either. So she just had to settle for being herself and hope for the best. Which was mostly destined to fail, given her experience. Before sending her message, she hit "private". The whole world of YouTube didn't need to see their conversation. She had the feeling this would go on for some time.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: A big, giant MWAH and thank you to everyone following this story so far! And thank you so much for all your reviews and kind words. They really feed my will to go on. So here you have chapter 3, lovely people. XX**

* * *

_**May 26**__**th**_

Regina jumped in her chair as her head dropped again and she opened her eyes, her eyelids flickering. She looked around her to make sure no one had seen her fall asleep. Especially not her professor. His steady voice was the loudest sound in the room, followed by the scribbling sound of pencils against paper. This had been happening ever since her alarm went off early this morning. Her eyes would flutter shut without her having any power to stop it. She'd always hated Mondays, but then again who didn't. This Monday was particularly tough however, if you were to measure it by how exhausted Regina was. She could only blame herself though. Regina giggled silently and shook her head. She'd been up all night writing with Emma. When she'd received her second message from the blonde, only twenty minutes after she'd sent her own, they'd spiraled into a long conversation of everything between heaven and earth. She still had no idea as to how and why she'd let it go on for so long.

_"Regina. My first name is Regina."_

_"Wow. That's an unusual name. I don't think I've ever heard it before. It's beautiful though."_

_"Thank you. It's Latin. It means queen."_

_"Are you serious? That's precious. So you're Latino?"_

_"Well, since I'm a girl, I'm Latin__**a**__, to be exact. But yes, I'm Spanish. That doesn't have anything to do with a Latin name though."_

_"Oh come on, cut me some slack. I'm no expert on this. You can lighten up a bit, your Majesty."_

Regina smiled as broadly as she'd done when first reading that message. _Unbelievable. _Emma Swan was simply unbelievable. She was funny, hilarious even, and very sarcastic, but Regina felt like she might have a soft side to her, even though she tried hard to hide it. _I'll discover that soon enough. _

Regina had learned that Emma was originally from America, such as herself, but had been living in England for the past five years. She hadn't asked why though, since Emma seemed to tiptoe around the details, and Regina didn't want to pry. They'd only known each other for two days after all. She'd also learned that Emma taught the first grade in English and math. And well, she already knew that the blonde played in a band.

The conversation hadn't stayed focused on names, origin and hobbies though. Soon they'd started asking each other all sorts of silly questions, or just started chatting about whatever sprung to their minds. When it was 1am Regina had reluctantly called it quits. Emma had just as reluctantly let her go to bed. Four hours later, a little past 5am, Regina's alarm had gone off. She lived a good way from the University, and had to take her first bus at 6:20. She'd fallen asleep on the bus and almost not gotten out in time for her stop.

As Regina's thoughts centered around Emma, not paying the slightest attention to what was going on, on the board in front of her, her phone buzzed as if on cue. Regina sneakily fished it out of her pocket.

_"How tall are you?"_

Regina smiled at the bluntness of Emma. She hid her phone under her desk and typed in her answer.

_"I'm 1.65. You?"_

Not a minute passed before she received an answer.

_"A shortass like me! But I'm 1.67. Ha! Taller than you."_

_"Oh we can't have that. I might have to check up on that when I get home."_

Regina tried to hide her laughter in her palm. So far no one paid any attention to her.

_"Damn. Thought I could win one here. You at school?"_

_"I am the Queen after all. It's only fitting that I win most battles. Yes. At a sucky lecture about who-knows-what. I'm not really paying much attention. I see some numbers on the board though. Might be math."_

She imagined Emma laughing at her joke, but she wasn't sure if it was that funny. She wasn't used to being funny. But somehow, she wanted to be, when she was writing with Emma.

_"Lmao! Math is the best. You should pay attention!"_

_"You're so wrong. Math is the worst. I don't want to learn any of this!"_

_"Then what do you want to learn?"_

Regina chewed on her bottom lip_. _Not even Kathryn or Belle knew how much she resented what she was majoring in. They didn't know what she really wanted to do. But she felt like she could tell Emma. _You don't even know her. _She typed in her answer and hovered over the send button.

_"Cat got your tongue?"_

Emma was as feisty as ever. Regina held her breath and pressed send. She had no idea why she was so nervous.

_"Writing. I want to write."_

_"A writer, huh. That's amazing. So are we talking poems, novels?_

_"Everything. But mostly I want to be a script writer."_

_"That's really cool. I just want my band to go worldwide and famous."_

_"But that's amazing too, Emma! You make incredible music."_

_"Thank you."_

Regina's stomach twisted uncomfortably. Had she said something wrong? The minutes stretched and still no answer from Emma. Regina typed in something quick. She couldn't bare the silence.

_"So, what are you up to, Emma?"_

_"Just having a break in-between lectures. I'm teaching a math class in 30 minutes."_

_"Oh okay. How many classes do you teach?"_

_"Well I teach all the first graders at the school, in both math and English. It's a big school, so five classes, but I only teach eight times a week."_

Before Regina could reply, the bell rang and the class was over. She noticed Kathryn staring at her with a quirked eyebrow. _Dammit. _She smiled awkwardly and rose from her chair to walk out of the auditorium, trying to avoid any questions from the blonde. As she walked in front of Kathryn, Regina quickly typed in a goodbye to Emma before slipping her phone into her pocket again. Ninety minutes had passed, and whatever the professor had been talking about, Regina had learned nothing. _This can't go on. I'll fail all my classes. And then the whole thing will have been in vain. _But even so, she found herself excited to get to her next class and continue her conversation with Emma.

* * *

Emma was pacing uneasily around the classroom as the students were occupied with the worksheet she'd just given them. The silence was only broken by a few whispering questions around the tables. She chewed on her nails. Her fingers were itching to text Regina, but it was against school policy to text during classes. For obvious reasons that Emma couldn't care less about right now. _You texted with her all night dumbass. And all morning. You can go an hour without her. Pull yourself together, Swan. _She sat down at her desk and started flipping through the endless amount of papers in her folder, all papers that needed to be sorted out. _Might as well kill the time. And get my mind off of her. _

As she started scribbling, marking and sorting, she did find her mind drifting on to other topics. What she was going to eat for dinner. _I wonder what Regina's favorite food is? _If she should watch a movie tonight and which one. _Typical romantic comedies must just be Regina's thing. _That she should really get started on that book her parents got her for Christmas. _Maybe I can read some of Regina's stuff one day. _As this went on for the entire hour, Emma ended up not finishing any of her paperwork, but instead she had a whole bunch of new questions for Regina and figuratively red cheeks from mentally slapping herself.

As her class finished and the students rose from their chairs to exit the classroom, Emma felt her heart flutter in her chest. This was her last class, which meant she was now free. _Free to write with Regina. _She rolled her eyes and gathered her stuff before rising from her own chair.

"Have a nice day. I'll see you all on Wednesday."

She didn't like how the level of authority in her voice sometimes rose when she was speaking to the students. She wanted to be their friend, even if she was their teacher. She hadn't become a teacher to "rule over others" or feel like she had "power" over someone. She just wanted to be important to someone, to enrich someone's life even if it was with simple knowledge of the English language and mathematic skills. She loved teaching. And she loved feeling like she was accepted by all of the kids in her classes. She loved kids in general. They were always so bright-eyed, full of life and open to learn as much as possible, as fast as possible. Not like many of the adults in this world. Children bring something else to your daily life that Emma was sure she couldn't be without at this point.

Of course it had also been her easiest way out when she was done with high school. Because of her amazing grades, Mary Margaret had been able to give her an apprentice spot at the school she worked on as a teacher herself. Emma had soon proven her worth and was hired full-time. She couldn't believe her luck at first. She'd never really succeeded in anything in life, maybe apart from the band. _We're not really successful though. _It was new to her, to feel like she was floating with the stream instead of against it.

Emma drove home in her beloved car faster than usual. _Old reliable Granny_. Even being almost twenty years old, Granny still ran as good as ever. But speeding a bit too much was not healthy, after all. She padded the roof of dear Granny as she got out. She'd been handed down to Emma as a graduation present from Mary Margaret and David. Another reason why her new parents were simply amazing and the best ones she'd ever had. _That sounds fucked up. _She laughed at herself while entering her home, finding both her parents in the kitchen eating lunch. Her father smiled broadly at her.

"Someone's in a good mood. Kids good today?"

Emma walked over and gave them both a kiss on the cheek.

"Yes I guess so. No trouble, as usual."

Mary Margaret smiled warmly and cupped one of Emma's cheeks. The pride in her eyes was evident and Emma squirmed under her gaze. She was still not used to the genuine care these two showed her. She smiled awkwardly before sitting down at the table with them, and started grabbing small pieces of food from their plates. David chuckled.

"Why don't I get you your own plate, young lady?"

Emma smirked.

"Thanks, dad!"

Emma saw how David inhaled deeply at that. She knew how much they appreciated her calling them by their parental terms. And she really did love saying it to them, unlike in her other families. Because this was the first time she really felt it.

David put a sandwich and French Fries in front of Emma. This was when her phone dinged. Emma's breath caught in her throat and she swallowed thickly. _Regina_. At first she thought best to ignore the brunette, since her parents were present. But the dinging went on. She counted five dings, and with each of them her parents' brows quirked further.

"Someone's eager to get a hold of you." Mary Margaret's voice was low and somehow teasing. _Does she know? How could she?_ Emma laughed nervously and bit down on her sandwich. As her phone dinged for the sixth time, David laughed and patted his daughter's shoulder.

"You can check it if you want to, sweetheart."

Emma fished her phone out of her pocket without a second thought. She couldn't help the beaming smile that spread on her lips.

"_Hi Emma! How was your day?"_

_"I hope your math class wasn't as boring as mine, ha!"_

_"I'm sorry, was that too rude?"_

_"I'm sure your classes are much more fun than mine."_

_"You're certainly not boring, Emma."_

_"I'm rambling. I'm sorry. Don't even mind me."_

Emma had to bite down on her tongue to keep from laughing. Regina was being cute beyond words. She typed in her answer, still with the broadest smile on her lips.

_"Lmao, Regina, you're not being rude! You're simply being immensely cute and I can't stop smiling, to be honest."_

Not more than a few seconds went by before Emma received an answer.

_"Okay thank god, I was getting anxious that I might have upset you…"_

_"Not at all, believe me."_

_"I believe you. Now I'm smiling, too."_

Emma felt her stomach flip at that and she looked up from her phone to find both her parents staring at her. Her smile faded instantly and she felt her cheeks burn. _Dammit_. Mary Margaret lifted an eyebrow in question. Emma knew her mother expected an answer. For some reason Emma felt like she needed to lie.

"Um… Rubes said something funny."

The way both David and Mary Margaret looked at her, Emma knew they didn't buy that for even a second. But for some reason they chose to leave her be. For now. Instead they continued eating in silence. Emma looked down at her phone again to see a new message from Regina.

_"So, what are you up to, dear?"_

Emma had to shake her head. _If only she knew._

_"I'm eating lunch with my parents. You?"_

_"I'm just doing some homework. Exams are soon and I need to be fit and ready."_

_"Shouldn't you be, I don't know, __**not **__texting me then?"_

Emma smirked and chuckled low in her throat. She liked teasing Regina.

_"Yes… I guess so. But you're just way better company than my assignments."_

Emma felt her stomach flip again and bit down on her bottom lip.

_"Is that so?"_

_"Yes."_

Somehow Regina's short and clipped answer made the sincerity all the more evident. Emma's smile was broader than ever as she typed in her response.

_"I'd love to accompany you and your assignments."_

There was a long pause where Emma didn't get any response from Regina. She started feeling a bit anxious, her stomach knotting unpleasantly. She chewed on her nails as she waited. Had she stepped over the line? But then came the response from the brunette, five minutes later, and all of Emma's knots turned into butterflies.

_"Maybe one day you will."_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Another chapter is up! This time a little longer than the previous ones. This is when Regina and Emma really start to write and stuff start to happen. I hope you'll find this chapter to your liking! Reviews are always appreciated, I really love hearing what all of you think. I'm in this to learn and improve, not just for the fun of it! Thank you so much for following this story, much love to you all XO.**

* * *

_**May 26th**_

As Regina finally sent the five words that had been screaming at her for five minutes, she threw her phone down on her bed and buried her face in her hands. She squealed silently. What was she doing? That was way too much. She couldn't even find any coherent answer as to why she'd said that. _Maybe one day you will_. Whoa. Just whoa. Regina didn't dare to pick up her phone and look for a response from Emma. And she didn't get the chance to, because right then, her mother knocked on her door and walked in without waiting for an answer. As soon as she caught site of Regina's cramped up position on her bed, she furrowed her brows and put her hands on her hips.

"Shouldn't you be doing your homework?" Her voice was stern and Regina shrunk a little. She always felt so insecure around her mother. _More than usual, anyway. _She straightened up a bit but kept her eyes on the floor.

"Yes, mother, I'm sorry. I will."

Cora's lips formed what were to be the pretentious version of a smile, but whatever it was faded as soon as Regina's phone dinged. She gave Regina a look. A look Regina knew far too well and feared just as well.

"I hope you're not wasting your time chatting with boys. You don't have time for a love life if you're going to succeed with your studies," she paused, her expression going thoughtful like she was elsewhere in time, before continuing, "and we both know what happened the last time you tried."

Regina contorted her face in pain as her mother used that argument on her again. Cora walked towards Regina and closed in on the space between them. She grabbed her daughter's chin sternly and lifted her eyes off the ground. She trailed her thumb over Regina's lips before slowly tilting her head and with pity in her eyes said:

"Love is weakness, darling. And you're weak enough already. You don't need anything to tip you over the edge."

Cora's voice was like ice-cold water running through Regina's veins and she shivered. Her mother was right. Regina was weak. And she was afraid. She'd always been so and she always would be. But that didn't mean that Cora's words didn't hurt.

"Yes, mother."

Cora smiled and padded Regina's cheek.

"Good girl. Now do your homework, sweetheart. Lucky for you, you have your wits."

Regina nodded and rose from her bed to sit down at her desk again. As Cora exited her room, Regina held back the tears that were threatening to spill.

Ever since Regina's experience with her first "boyfriend", Daniel, her mother had been giving her a hard time about it. About anything concerning love, or even caring for someone too much. Anything that would take her mind off of her studies, her mother disapproved of. But she had a right to be concerned, after how the relationship ended. After how stupid Regina had been.

Daniel was an attractive senior at her college. As Regina was way too shy and insecure to even consider flirting with someone, he had been the one to make contact with her. At first he'd been a classy guy, a real gentleman that treated Regina like a lady. Even during their first time, Regina's first time, he'd been gentle and patient. He had made Regina fall in love with him fast and intensely. But soon he turned out to be a real… _asshole_.

Regina felt the bitter taste of remorse creep around in her mouth. She _hated _him. She hated him for what he'd done to her. He had ruined her. She had been naïve; she knew nothing about love or trust. She'd never had anyone tell her about it. Her mother didn't touch such subjects with as much as a finger. And her father… well of course she couldn't talk to him about stuff like that. So Regina had been alone in figuring things out. Which meant she'd trusted Daniel with her heart even though she shouldn't have. As soon as he'd gotten what he wanted, her virtue, she'd found him in bed with a girl from his own class. He'd left Regina behind with a broken heart and shattered dreams.

After that, she'd build walls up around herself, for protection. She'd started believing that what her mother said was true. Love is weakness. And you shouldn't waste your time with it, because it can only hurt you. Regina's walls were high. And they kept her scared of commitment. She knew panic better than she knew love. Ever since Daniel betrayed her, she'd fled anyone that ever tried getting to know her. She didn't hate the idea of love. She was _scared_ of it.

In her mess of thoughts, Regina barely registered her phone going off again. But as it continued to do so, her conscious was brought back to the present. To Emma. The tears she'd been holding back finally spilled silently down her cheeks. _Emma_. Again she questioned why she'd sent the message containing those five words. How could she ever live up to the promise they held? What was she even trying to promise? What was going _on_ with this blonde beauty? Was Emma climbing up her walls? Could anyone ever? Regina rose from the chair and kicked at it angrily. It skated across the floor and bumped into her bookshelf, making some of the books fall over. _No_. _You don't even know this girl. What are you even suggesting? Oh god Regina, you've lost it for good this time. _

Regina's phone dinged again. This time she picked it up.

"_Hi you! Still doing homework?"_

"_Wow, you must be really into whatever you're doing."_

"_Are you ignoring me?"_

Regina's stomach twisted and she sighed deeply. _Damn it_. Who was she kidding. There was no way out of this now. She started typing as she sat down on her bed. _And I don't want to find one._

* * *

_**May 27**__**th**_

Emma took a long sip of the beer August had just handed her and put her feet up on the table in front of his couch. She loved hanging out at his place. He was cool and laid-back and his apartment represented that as well. From the band posters on the walls to the never-been-dusted shelves with hundredths of CDs, this whole place reeked of August's passion for music. It also reeked of old pizza boxes and empty beer cans, but you got used to the smell in time. By now, it was almost comforting to Emma. After all, August was like a big brother to her.

"So, what's up, sis?"

Emma smiled warmly. And she was like a sister to him.

"Not much, not much. School is as always. Folks as lovely as ever. I've written a few notes to some new songs I want us to try out."

"What about this resurrection gal? Heard anything else from her?"

Emma stiffened a bit and blinked a few times, trying to think of something to say.

"Nah, I just thanked her for her message and told her to check out our other songs. That was pretty much it."

August quirked an eyebrow. He knew Emma was lying. But he chose not to say anything. For some reason Emma kept hiding the truth about this girl, and even though he found it fucking annoying, it was up to Emma to tell him the truth. He knew the blonde wouldn't respond well to being pushed, but would most likely clam up completely and never even consider telling him the truth. So he'd let her take her time. _Better hurry up, sis, before you get yourself in more trouble than you can handle. _

Emma took another sip of her beer. It felt good sliding down her throat and it calmed her nerves. Beer was her best friend. _Except for Rubes and Gus of course_.

"What about you, bro? Any new ladies on the hook? Somewhere I shouldn't shit?"

Emma rose quickly from the couch and made a deal out of looking all over it with wide eyes, before receiving a fist to the shoulder and both of them broke out laughing.

"Em! Come on girl. No, not since that brunette from the bar, last weekend."

August laughed at Emma's expression. He knew she wasn't fond of his way of life when it came to hooking up. But she rarely said a bad word about him, always chose to show interest instead of voicing her disgust. One of the reasons he respected the little weirdo so much.

"What about you? Did you finally cave in on one of Ruby's offers?"

Emma contorted her face in disgust, which only made August laugh again.

"I take that as a no," he took a sip from his beer before eyeing his little sis and digging into more dangerous territory, "What about on your own? Any special lady in your life?"

Emma's thoughts immediately wandered off to Regina. She swallowed thickly. _She's not a lady in your life, Swan. _She bit down on her bottom lip. _Not yet. _Her head jolted up from where she'd been gazing at the floor. _Shut up! _She screamed at herself. _Don't even go there. No. Shush. Never happened. You did not just think that._

"Not particularly," Emma finally answered stiffly, trying for a smile but ending up with a grimace that couldn't be pinned on any emotion. August smirked.

"If you say so."

They continued to talk until their beer was empty and the day had gone dark outside the window. They ordered a pizza from their personal spot, a gross joint that had been in the health inspection's black book for years but somehow always managed to pull through. The crust was always burned and the stuffing was oily, but it had been their very first place to order a pizza when they had first moved to Devon, and therefore it remained as _their spot_.

They had a lot of those. Having known each other for most of their lives will do that to you. When Emma had first arrived in the system, only days old, August had been the one to take care of her, even if he was only a 7-year-old boy that could barely take care of himself. He'd later explained how Emma had been laying in her crib crying for hours without anyone checking on her. As soon as he'd walked up to her and picked her up, she'd stopped crying and given him the most beautiful toothless smile he'd ever laid eyes upon. At least that was his way of explaining it, even though Emma always rolled her eyes at him when he got all sentimental in retelling the story. Nevertheless, he'd sworn then and there to always take care of her. Which was why he'd followed her to Devon when the Nolans had adopted her, even though he was long out of the system. She couldn't remember ever having felt that loved by someone. She would always owe August more than she could ever give him.

When it was time for Emma to head home, school the next day and all, they shared a bear hug and a fist bump before Emma excited the apartment and quickly made her way home. For the first time in hours she checked her phone. No new messages from Regina. She felt her stomach do an uncomfortable twist and found herself somehow disappointed. Sad, even. Was she seriously missing her? _Well, might as well do something about that._

"_I'm borded."_

Emma smacked one hand against her face_. You're an idiot._

"_Booored."_

"_I meant bored, damn it."_

* * *

Regina laughed out loud as she read Emma's three little cute messages. She hadn't heard from her all day and if she was honest with herself, she'd missed the hell out of her. She decided not to let this one slip.

"_Well I'm borded, too."_

Regina couldn't help but smile at herself. It didn't take long for Emma to answer, and when she did, Regina laughed loudly once again.

"_Fuck youuuu."_

Regina mainly sent four very happy smiley faces. Emma continued the conversation.

"_I'm sooooo bored... I could write on my songs, ya know but I'm just not inspired... Ok not completely true. I'm kinda inspired to write yet another song."_

"_Then why don't you? Perfect way to use boredom time! I was thinking about listening to more of your songs on YouTube."_

"_Becaaaause I should rather finish the ones I've already started &amp; I could always do sth for school. Or lets put it this way: I should rather do sth for school since I have a lot of lessons to plan so it could get fucking stressful."_

"_Ah yeah okay… Kind of how I feel about starting to read new books! I really want to, but it's so time consuming... Maybe you could just watch a movie? I'm so bad at coming up with stuff to do, my apologies…"_

"_No I actually just got more motivated &amp; inspired thanks to you. So I'm gonna just write &amp; see where it goes."_

"_Oh really? Well you're welcome!"_

"_Yeah, thanks!"_

Regina couldn't stop smiling. Somehow she felt honored to have inspired Emma, even tough she didn't know how she'd actually accomplished that. She giggled goofily as she rose from her bed to get her laptop. If Emma was going to be busy writing, she might as well listen to some more of the band's songs as she'd promised. But then her phone dinged again. Regina furrowed her brows and went to pick it up. Her smile grew even wider as she read it.

"_You know what? The song can wait. I want to write with you. So, what are you up to?"_

Regina sighed heavenly and let herself fall down on the bed. _Emma Swan. You little charmer. _

"_It just so happens that I'm doing nothing at all. And I want to write with you, too."_

"_Awesome! Sooo…"_

"_Yes. So."_

* * *

Emma chewed on her nails. _What should I ask her? How to start a conversation? _She stumbled around inside her own head, trying to form coherent sentences and questions but failing miserably. The only thing she could think of was the lamest question anyone could ever ask someone in the history of questions being asked. She sighed. Nonetheless, it was a question.

"_What's your fav color?"_

She closed her eyes, willing the lameness of the question to seem less lame. Regina answered quickly though.

"_Purple and blue. _I can never choose."

Emma smiled and pursed her lips.

"_Go for blue."_

"_Why did I know you'd say that?"_

That made Emma laugh out loud. A second message ticked in before she could come up with a withy answer though.

"_What's yours?"_

The blonde smiled tenderly. Regina never seemed to find her dumb or lame. She always found her jokes funny, and showed her as much as interest as Emma did in her. It was amazing.

"_Green."_

"_I like green, too. But it doesn't look good on me."_

Emma laughed again. _Such a girl_.

"_Well, does purple and blue look good on you?"_

"_That's the thing. I really adore purple, and I think that's truly my favorite color, but blue looks better on me. It fits with my hair and skin tone. Purple pretty much looks awful on me."_

That's when it hit Emma. She'd never seen a picture of Regina. She had absolutely no idea how this mysterious friend of hers looked like, other than what she'd pictured herself, when she was thinking too much about her. And that she was Spanish. Emma bit down on her bottom lip. Was it too much to ask? Regina had seen a picture, no, a video of Emma after all. _What the hell. Here goes nothing._

"_Why don't you send me a picture of yourself and let me be the judge of that?"_

There was a long pause with no answer from Regina. At first, Emma thought she'd stepped over the line and Regina now had no intention of ever answering her ever again. But then ticked in a message. And it contained a picture. She opened it. _Holy. Fucking. Shit. _

Emma gaped at the screen, mouth open and eyes wide. She even shook her head a little, trying to compose her thoughts. Regina was sitting in what Emma assumed to be her own room, lights dim. Her smile was bright and she wore her dark hair in a braid down one side. Her skin was olive toned, her eyes smoldering brown. _Those eyes. Oh my god those eyes._ They could turn anyone into a hot mess of goo. She had plum and red lips. And if Emma wasn't mistaking, she spotted a scar on the right side of her upper lip. _How did that get there? _Emma couldn't define if she looked hot, beautiful or cute. Maybe a perfect combination of all three. Her big doe-eyes and bright smile made her look immensely adorable, but her plum lips and dark skin made her look so… _kissable._

Emma buried her face in her hands. She rubbed at her face fast and harshly. _God dammit_. _Why did she have to be beautiful? Why the hell did she have to look like a fucking Greek goddess? Or Spanish goddess or whatever_. Even in her misery, she found it best not to leave Regina hanging.

"_Regina, you're absolutely beautiful. You're so cute and I fucking love your eyes."_

"_Are they kinda hazel at the edges or just brown?"_

* * *

Regina starred at her screen for quite some time before thinking of what to answer. She wasn't used to receiving compliments. She was quite bad at it, to be exact. _Horrible_. And hearing this from Emma just made her stomach twist and her cheeks burn.

"_They're brown. Just brown."_

Emma was fast with her reply.

"_Well anyway, they're not just brown to me. I really adore them. Sorry, but it's the truth."_

Regina was biting on her bottom lip so hard she feared she might break through the skin.

"_I don't know what to say really… just thank you."_

"_You're welcome."_

Regina was about to write something else when she got another message from Emma.

"_And your smile and your hair, you're just really cute. Ok that's it. Bye."_

Regina squealed loudly in an attempt to handle all these feelings roaming around inside her. She rolled over on her bed, laying flat on her stomach with her face pushed into the mattress. She sighed deeply. _She's trying to kill me_. She sat up in a jolt, knowing exactly what to write.

"_**Are **__you trying to kill me, or what?!"_

"_What? No… I just like you and I think you're beautiful."_

An unpleasant feeling settled in Regina's stomach. Her breathing intensified as she suddenly panicked. Had she said something wrong? _God no, I didn't mean it like that, Emma. _She tried to think of the right thing to say. Then the image of Emma in the music video sprung to her mind. How golden locks fell wildly on her shoulders and chest. Her hair was amazing. Regina remembered how she'd wanted to run her hands through that hair. How her breathtaking emerald eyes almost sparkled. They looked so alive. So hopeful, somehow. She remembered how those thin but perfectly shaped, pale lips had formed beautiful words that touched your soul. She remembered her body, slim and fit. Emma was stunning, beautiful, herself. And her expressions, how she moved, with a little confidence and teasing but shimmering eyes and a bright smile made her look adorably cute. And she needed to know that.

"_It wasn't a bad thing. Emma, please. You're so beautiful and cute yourself. Really. The video of you literally took my breath away at the same time it made me want to cuddle you. And your hair is absolutely amazing. I love it."_

It took a while for Emma to answer, but when she did, Regina thought her face might split in two with the broad smile she couldn't hide even if she tried.

"_Now I'm blushing… Thanks. Let's cuddle."_

Regina's face hurt from smiling but she didn't care. She didn't care about anything but Emma right this second. It almost made her tear up how happy she felt right now. She didn't know how to handle all these intense feelings. She'd never experienced anything like it. So there was no doubt to what she was going to answer.

"_That's a big yes."_


	5. Chapter 5

_**Aaaaaaalright - so here we go with the very, very, very, VERY delayed chapter 5! I'm sincerely sorry for this, but life is crazy when you're an au pair for three little boys! Time is something I don't have much of. But, to make up for it, this chapter is twice as long as the previous ones! I do hope you enjoy it. Things start to get a little intense between Emma and Regina now. I am going to continue this story for the long run, and I really hope you'll stick around for it! I'll try to update more frequently, promised. And as always, reviews are highly appreciated! I love hearing what you all think. Much love, Regalfangirl xo**_

_**P.S The typos in Emma's messages are intended. I did not have a stroke. **_

* * *

_**May 28**__**th**__**, evening at Emma's**_

Emma couldn't help but chuckle at Regina's question.

"_Who takes these pictures of you? Is it like a camera on timer or?"_

Emma smirked before sending her answer.

"_Hehe you wanna take them? No these are actually from a photo shoot. There are like fifty more or something."_

They'd been sending a lot of pictures to each other since yesterday, when Emma asked Regina for the first one. Emma had sent Regina a lot of pictures that looked quite a like, from a photo shoot she'd once did. Some of which she wasn't _fully _dressed. Emma had to admit; their messaging had taken a crazy hot turn all of a sudden. She wasn't quite sure how it had happened.

"_My friend August got me that as a present for my 18__th__ birthday."_

Emma chuckled hotly as Regina's responses ticked in. She liked this hot and teasing turn their conversations had taken.

"_I didn't say anything about that… but… I wouldn't mind._

"_Oh okay! I've been thinking about doing a photo shoot like this actually… what an amazing gift! They're good, really good."_

"_And I like the thought of fifty more."_

This started off a long and sort of deep conversation. Emma didn't have anything to do; she was merely waiting for it to be time for her to go out with August and Ruby. Even though it was only Wednesday, she was lucky to be off school both Thursday and Friday. They had decided to celebrate that at their favorite bar. Emma typed away on her phone, answering Regina in three different messages.

"_Haha yeah I bet you wouldn't."_

"_I know it was kinda the first time I felt beautiful… August knew that I didn't feel like a woman or girl at all so yeah that was really sweet of him. I actually hated it in the beginning."_

"_Thanks, really! It means a lot."_

Emma felt her heart tighten as she read Regina's answer. This girl was simply amazing.

"_I think I would be very self conscious in the beginning… Really hating the idea. But I really think it helps in the end, as you say. Your friend is grand for doing that. Although I feel like I need to call you stupid for not thinking you're beautiful - that's a plain lie!"_

She felt like telling Regina about her past. She felt like she could tell her anything, everything. But it might be too early to cast the whole bomb of her messed up life. So she decided just to dive in a little bit. She trusted Regina.

"_Well, I was pretty nervous then. And I actually hated just the idea of a photo shoot cause I'm just not that girly or whatever… And about that, well if people talk behind your back or keep saying that you're ugly and stuff, you start to believe them... besides I did dress like a boy until I was like 15 or something so yeah... I wasn't feeling beautiful and I kinda still think that I wasn't... I mean I didn't hate myself or shit..."_

It took a while for Regina to answer. Emma found herself walking in circles. She chewed on her nails as she so often did. Over ten minutes past before Emma's phone went off again.

"_Oh people should just learn to keep quiet... Define ugly really? So what if you dressed like a boy. That shouldn't mean anything to people. I'm sorry that you didn't feel beautiful, although I'm glad it didn't cause anything else like hating yourself. But you really are beautiful Emma… and… and so sexy too. I'm sorry I had to say that. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise."_

Emma stifled a sob. She wasn't even sure why. She felt like crying and laughing at the same time. What Regina was saying just… _touched _her, so deeply. She'd ben told all this before. Ruby, for one, had given her pretty much the same speech although with more swearing and "just shut up you're fucking sexy okay, end of story." But coming from Regina, it was like Emma was really hearing it for the first time. Like she really understood it. _Damn, Regina. You're crawling under my skin. What am I gonna do with you._ Even so, being who she was, Emma didn't want to seem vulnerable. So instead of pouring her heart out, she sort of shrugged Regina's words off. There was plenty of time to get emotional later.

"_Well, I've always kinda liked myself. I mean I hate certain things about myself but yeah... I'm pretty glad with who I am or rather turned out to be…_

_Well, calling someone names is pretty common for youngsters, you know, so I guess ugly is one of these things... Thanks haha, I actually really love those pictures. I mean all of them somehow show my confidence and all, it was the first time I realized that I'm a strong woman, that I'm actually beautiful... It feels like I proved all of those idiots wrong… I mean sometimes I feel like I'm too confident or like myself too much, which is also shit..."_

Emma stopped her endless typing for a second and blushed. _I'm rambling. She must think I'm crazy. This is embarrassing. _She added something to her message just to seem less weird.

"_Thanks again, you're beautiful yourself. You can tell me everything too you know. Otherwise I'll just feel awkward about writing so much."_

As Emma pressed send, she couldn't help but wonder how they'd gotten here. It all seemed to have gone so fast. There was still so much she didn't know about Regina. So much Regina didn't know about her. But Emma felt so comfortable talking to Regina. Maybe she even felt too comfortable… she was starting to fear whatever was going on inside her mind. Maybe even inside her heart. She didn't really know _what _was going on. But if she was honest with herself, she knew it was something… _more. _Further definition was not possible in her current state of mind. _Maybe when I get drunk tonight I'll know_. Emma shook her head and laughed at herself.

* * *

Regina read through Emma's messages again. She couldn't shake this unnerving feeling that the blonde was hiding something. Or at least she wasn't being completely honest. _That's the same thing, genius. _She felt like Emma was using this sarcastic trait of hers to make matters seem less important than they might really be. And it worried Regina. She felt this need to protect Emma, to make sure she was all right. But how could she do that when she barely knew her. Regina sighed and typed in her answer. _You need to put all this on hold. Emma's a big girl. She can take care of herself._

"_Oh don't feel awkward at all! I'm a great listener, __**and**__ a great talker!"_

Regina paused before continuing_. Showing that I'm vulnerable, too might help_, Regina thought to herself. So she dipped into her own troubles.

"_I can imagine feeling like this really... It's a boost of confidence when you have literal evidence that you're actually beautiful. I guess I'm at that point where I can feel confident about my face, and I can see that I do have a pretty face, but the rest is still yet to come. I've always felt like I was too "dangly" and don't have enough "curves". So I might be confident about my face, but I'm not confident with my body. I want to be, but there's just things I can't overlook."_

It took some time for Emma to answer. But when she did, it made Regina chuckle and blush.

"_Well, yeah I was mainly talking about my character. I mean I've gained some pounds that I really want to lose again. Besides I've like the biggest thighs ever cause I eat way too much... I'm not a picky eater at all. And I'm sometimes not happy with my face though. __Anyway, I think you still have a great body and even if you're not "curvy" or shit, you can still be and feel sexy and beautiful."_

Regina bit her bottom lip. She was getting emotional now, and unlike Emma, she didn't feel like hiding anything. Sometimes she thought she sought too much attention, like she needed the recognition of her problems to feel good about herself. That could most likely be blamed on her mother. Either way, she typed away.

"_Well women in my family are very small and dangly, so I got that trait. And I know you can feel both sexy and beautiful even if you're not especially curvy, but I just haven't got the ability to. That's why I think maybe a photo shoot like that would help me out... But maybe I should rather focus on eating more."_

Regina suddenly felt bad about herself. For doing to Emma what she always did, to everyone. She wished she didn't need this. That she could just stop.

"_Or maybe you'll have to find someone who makes you feel beautiful. Because I for once already think you are."_

Regina sucked in a shaky breath. She felt her eyes burn with unshed tears. She wasn't used to being called beautiful. She couldn't remember the last time anyone else had told her so. She didn't know how to react. So she avoided the compliment at first.

"_Well that would be the ultimate key, yes…_

Emma's answer came quickly.

"_I know. I really wish you'll find someone who's able to do that."_

Regina furrowed her brows. Emma's words held an unspoken promise. Regina's head was spinning. If this had been a conversation in real life, silence would surely have spread as they'd just looked at each other. Even now, Regina looked into the air. She didn't know what to make of Emma's words. Lately they'd been teasing and talking so much in code that she didn't feel sure about what was going on anymore. She decided not to address it though.

"_You're seriously the sweetest, Emma. I mean you don't even know me and you've seen three pictures of me."_

Within seconds came Emma's reply, and as on cue, Regina giggled and blushed and felt her stomach flip wildly. The reaction that seemed to happen frequently lately.

"_Haha I'm really not the sweetest but thanks. Well, you're more than nice to me. You're actually amazing and three pics are enough. Besides, I saw more and I actually wanna kiss your face. Ok. Bye."_

Regina couldn't help it. This unknown sort of force inside her made everything she believed and all her fears loosen their grip around her. Something else was taking over her. Something stronger. It scared her in a new way. She was walking in blind, in unknown territory, and even though her steps would be cautious at first, she felt like she would soon be running, sprinting, towards something more powerful than anything else. And if there was something she knew for sure it was this:

"_I want to kiss your face, too, Emma"_

* * *

_**Later that night, at the bar**_

As Emma took a sip of her fifth beer so far, she felt the dizzying warmth of alcohol seep through her body, making her cheeks blush and her vision slightly blurry. The music was loud and it pounded unpleasantly in her ears. Honestly, she didn't feel much like partying. Even though the tracks they played here were usually good, today they seemed unreasonably loud and she wondered if she could ask the DJ to turn the volume down. Or she could make him. Her mischievous plan was interrupted as August came from the bar, balancing a tray of shots. Ruby threw her hands in the air in triumph.

"Gus, this is why we're friends!" She immediately gulped down two of the glass containing the brownish, sugary liquid. Emma scrunched her nose and instead took another sip of her beer. God, how she didn't want to be there.

"Come on Em, you don't want my money to be wasted," August said as he pushed the tray towards her, gulping down a shot of his own. Emma reluctantly took one of the nasty shots. She could never say no to that damn fool. As she tilted her head back and the liquid flooded her taste buds, she had to admit though, it was quite okay. She quickly snapped another one before the devouring wolf that was Ruby had gulped them all down. She did see August smirk as he'd noticed she actually liked the shots.

"Shut up," Emma muttered as she smacked her lips after her third shot. She was feeling really dizzy now, her head spinning too much for her liking. _I have to get some air._

She rose too quickly from her seat and had to slump backwards in her chair to avoid stumbling into anything. August's hand was quickly on her shoulder?

"You alright there, sis?"

Emma nodded slowly.

"I just need to get some air. Maybe some water."

She rose, slower this time, and when her vision finally steadied she made her way towards the door at the back of the bar, leading to a closed off alley where all the smokers went. She rested her head against the brick wall outside and took a deep breath of the chilly spring air.

Not a minute passed before a guy with too much gel in his hair and a leatherjacket too broad for his shoulders approached her. He looked like he'd jumped out of _Grease_. Emma was not pleased, and even less so when he leaned in so close that she could smell the alcohol on his breath.

"What brings such a sexy woman as yourself out here alone?"

Emma pushed herself further against the wall, trying to get more distance between them. She felt nauseous with him this close by. And she was not in the mood for anyone's shit tonight.

"Not any of your concern, thank you."

"Oh come on, don't you wanna play?"

"No thank you. I'm also very much gay."

The guy laughed slyly, a big smirk on his lips.

"Let me be the judge of that."

Emma suddenly felt a hand groping her ass, a move he would soon come to regret. She smashed four hard knuckles against his nose and as the guy yelped backwards, Emma turned around on her heel and sprinted towards the door. She looked back to see a gush of blood covering the guy's mouth and already dripping thickly on his jacket.

As she made it inside she went for the restroom. It was empty, as people were more occupied on the dance floor or hovering at the bar. She went to take a sip of water, but flinched as she held her hand under the water. She flipped it over, only to see her knuckles bright red, the flesh having been scraped raw as she'd punched him. _Fucking idiot. _She flexed her fingers and grabbed a paper towel to wrap around her hand. _One more reason to be a lesbian_. She laughed dryly.

That's when she felt her eyes burn and her stomach flip. Suddenly she knew why she'd been in such a nasty mood all night. She was usually always up for a night out, but this night, she'd just felt like staying home. And it wasn't because she was tired or didn't want to see Ruby and August. It was because someone else was missing. _Regina. _She missed Regina like fucking crazy. She longed for her. In more ways than one. All these messages the last few days had awakened several emotions inside Emma, some of which she didn't know how to deal with, simply because it had never happened to her before. Right now though, she just felt _hot_. _For Regina._

In the drunken state she was in, her feelings were all the more intense. She felt a lump in her throat that she desperately tried to swallow around but without any luck. _I have to text Regina_. She was as rational as she was sober, so within seconds she'd grabbed her phone and with much concentration typed a message to Regina.

"_Stop being hot."_

She didn't know why exactly she'd typed that. Maybe because the last picture Regina had sent her before Emma had left to meet her friends was exactly that. _Hot_. She'd been wrapped in a towel. Hair wet and unruly, falling around her shoulders in a way that looked both intentional and unintentional. Like, how could anyone look so hot, unintentionally? How was it possible? The top of her breasts had even been visible. The beginning of her cleavage. When had this happened? When had their "relationship" taken this turn? Emma couldn't recall anything anymore. She just knew that she didn't mind it at all. Frankly, it made her want more. _Much more_.

Her phone buzzed. Regina was being her sassy self. Emma couldn't help but smirk.

"_Never."_

Emma's answer was quick.

"_Fuck u."_

Abbreviations were easier at this point, since Emma had trouble seeing straight. A distant voice told her she was going to regret this conversation in the morning, but she ignored it.

"_I don't even… I'm serious. Youre fucking hot. Smoking. Beautiful."_

Emma felt her cheeks burn even though she didn't feel embarrassed. She was speaking the truth. Right now, in these drunken minutes, there was nothing but the truth.

Regina's message made her blush though.

"You are too_. I'm not kidding. I actually gasped when you sent me that picture of you. I might have been starring a bit too long."_

Emma typed in quickly. As she pressed send, she immediately regretted it though.

"_I might have gottn wet when I saw your picture. Fuck. Blame it on the alcohol. No actually blame it onyour hotness."_

Emma smacked her hand across her face. _Shit. Idiot, that was over the line. What the hell am I doing? She's gonna run away screaming now. She doesn't want this. She's a… she's a lady, not like me. But what if she does? What if she by some miracle, actually wants me, too? Fuck. I…I have to be honest. I have to know. I can't keep quiet. But… fuck._

As Emma continued arguing with herself, she found herself typing in a long stream of messages that would sure leave Regina either wanting her or want nothing to do with her. _Carpe Diem, Swan._

"_I wanna hug yoy in rl; I'm not kidding."_

"_Shitm... Maybe I wanna make love to u."_

"_Ok without thda maybe."_

It took a few agonizing minutes before Regina answered. In that time Emma imagined all the different answers she possibly could: _"Emma, I don't know what to say", "I feel the same way", "What are you talking about?", "It's too soon", "Are you crazy? That's too much Emma", "Um, bye."_

But Regina's answer was neither one of these. It was better, much better. It was promising. At least, it wasn't a rejection.

"_This is where England and America are too far from each other. You smoking hot piece of woman, you're making me blush."_

It was all or nothing now. Emma decided to go with the flow. Which in this case meant writing crazy drunk shit she would never have written had she been sober. _Too bad I'm not_, she thought to herself and laughed.

"_Shit. I'm just incredibly horny rn."_

"_For you."_

"_I'm sorry. This is not romantic or shit."_

"_I'm actually just at the bathroom."_

"_You don't even wAnt to know this rn…"_

"_I wish yoy were here with me thiugu."_

"_Though."_

Emma was satisfied with herself. She was just being honest. Thinking about that picture of Regina had made her wet. Right here, alone in the restroom of a bar. With the person she was hot for all the way on the other side of the planet.

Emma starred at the screen when Regina's reply came. She was confused by it.

"_Oh I want to know."_

Her answer to that was simple.

"_What?"_

"_I so want to be drunk with you, just. I just want to be there!"_

Emma furrowed her brows. If she was reading Regina's messages correctly, Regina might be feeling the same, but was too scared to say so exactly. Or too shy, maybe. It seemed like she didn't know exactly what to say. Or maybe she was just being nice and would break it off with Emma in the morning. Emma felt like an idiot for doing this to Regina. She didn't want to push her away or scare her. She just wanted her to know. She needed her to know. And blunt was the only way she knew how to get a message across. Even as the words she was typing tasted bitter on her tongue, she typed and sent them nonetheless. _Here goes nothing._

"_I wanna fuck u. Okay? Shit. Okay. Don't even listen. I'm sorry. im really sorry. I'm an idiot."_

Three minutes. For three minutes Emma was banging her head against the cool tiles of the bathroom wall, wishing for the best. She figured Regina had lost her shit and didn't want anything to do with her anymore. But then came her answer, and it made Emma so happy and confused at the same time.

"_Don't be sorry. And you're not an idiot. You're hot. This is hot. I'm hot. Not like, I look hot, it's just hot here."_

"_Fuck Emma how can this seriously turn me on."_

Did Regina really want her? Could she? Was it actually possible? Emma blinked at her screen, perplexed. _Fuck_. She gulped down on a sudden lump making it hard for her to breathe. Regina was too good for her. Emma was nothing but a messed up orphan. Sure, she had a family and a job now, but that was all she would ever be. An orphan. What she'd gone through as an orphan had formed her and made her who she was today. But here was Regina, the most beautiful and hot woman on earth, turned on, wanting her? This seemed so wrong.

She replied with shaking fingers.

"_You're hot? Like for me or? Shiiiiit.. I don't even deserve yoy. You're like fucking hot, okay?"_

"_Yes, really, for you. Would you stop that, you're fucking hot yourself, you can have me!"_

You can have me? _I can have her? Fuck. Shit. It's hot in here. It's hot…down there. _

"_I'm hot for you... Okay it's out. I don't even care. I wish you were with me even if I'm so fucking weird and don't deserve your love at all… It turns me on... I don't really know how you feel, but I wanna be close to you. Here. I'm sorry."_

Emma felt tears prick at her eyes now. _Stop being such a pussy. You've got no reason to cry. You're a fuck-up. Deal with it. _Two messages from Regina ticked in, seconds apart.

"_You should stop saying you're sorry, cause you shouldn't be! My stomach is doing insane flips right now and I'm just... Fuck, Emma. I wanna be there with you. If I came by, I would seriously walk right up to you and kiss you senseless."_

"_I'm aching here. And I'm not even drunk. I'm the weirdo."_

Emma felt a tremor run through her body, pooling between her legs. She inhaled sharply. Her panties were definitely wet. What the fuck was going on? At the same time that she felt extremely hot and bothered, she also felt so incredibly sad. Because as much as she wanted Regina to be here, she wasn't. And how could she ever be? This was a recipe for disaster. Before she knew it, she'd spammed Regina with several heartfelt messages. She had no filter when she was drunk. This was the first time she was showing her vulnerability to Regina. And she was scared shitless. But she couldn't stop. She'd started this, and now she was going to finish it.

"_Fuck. I really wish you were here. I'm nearly coming undone."_

"_I wanna touch you, kiss you."_

"_There all these bitches who just want penis... They're just so pathetic, I don't fucking care about them"_

"_I'm still sorry cauae I'm drunk. And I'm nearly crying cause I'm fucking alone... There all these people that just don't mean anything to me... But you…"_

"_If you were here."_

"_This isn't what it's supposed to be."_

"_I'm sorry, I shouldn't even bother u."_

* * *

_**On the other side, in Regina's room**_

Regina swallowed thickly. Everything was racing. Her mind, her heart. Her breathing was quick and shallow and her palms were sweaty. She tried to determine exactly what she was feeling. Tried closing her eyes to listen carefully to herself, her body. But it was just so damn difficult when so many things were screaming at her. _I'm panicking. _She blinked rapidly and shook her head. _Shit. I'm panicking. No. I can't. _She was so confused. She felt scared and happy all at once. Like this was what she wanted but she couldn't handle it. She wanted to want it, and she did want it, but she was scared of wanting in. She chuckled drily. Now she wasn't even making sense.

Emma's messages had caught her completely off guard. Sure, the blonde was very drunk and would probably not remember this in the morning, but "drunks speak the truth". And as much as Regina _did _feel like there was something more between them, something yet to be uncovered, this had come out of the blue. They'd never discussed it directly. It had always been teasing promises that neither of them had addressed. They'd let so many moments pass. But maybe they'd both known all a long. And now, today, drunk out of her mind, Emma had chosen to let Regina know how she felt. So why could Regina not just be happy and stop _fucking panicking?_

And now, with these last seven messages from Emma, Regina's heart was aching for her. She wished she could be there for her. Give her a tight hug and tell her it was all going to be all right. _Kiss her_. Regina smiled at the thought and felt her stomach do a pleasant flip. She hadn't been lying when she told Emma she was…hot. It was still a mystery to her. But there was definitely something inside her aching for release. And it only wanted Emma to be the releaser.

She decided to help Emma. Tried to make her feel better. It sounded like the blonde needed this from her right now. _She sounds like she hates herself. How could she possibly hate herself? She's amazing… _

"_Emma if you feel like this then go home. Don't cry. I might be too far away, but I'm here, and I care. If you're not having fun, then just go. I wish I could be there with you and make you feel better. I wish I could just. Just touch you. I don't know what's going on."_

"_You're not bothering me. You could never bother me."_

It took Emma a few minutes to answer. Regina was scared something bad was going to happen to her. _She might be too drunk to take care of herself…_

"_It's the alcohol speaking. I'm sorry. I can't get home without my brother. He deserves happiness more than me. I can't get home without him."_

"_Because I'm gonna sleep at his place_

"_I have this bracelet, which will make a dream come true ONCE it goes off... and I wished that my brother finds his soulmate"_

"_It's still there."_

Regina furrowed her brows. _Brother? _Emma had never mentioned a brother. _I guess it slipped her mind. _She couldn't help but smile at how Emma was rambling about something random all of a sudden. Even though her stomach dropped at Emma suddenly changing the subject. _She's not okay. She can't pretend like she's okay when she's obviously not. How do I get her to open up to me?_

Regina searched for words. She wanted nothing but to keep Emma safe, even if that meant keeping her safe from her own self-destructive thoughts. But how could she when she was so far away? _Damn this._

"_Emma you deserve happiness just as much as he does. But you're seriously the sweetest and just best sister for doing that. It seems like you have so much love for your brother, and I really adore you for this. But you have to make sure you're not miserable yourself."_

Emma's answer frustrated Regina even more. She was avoiding the actual problem.

"_So I just hope it goes off.. okay, I firstly wished thar I find my soulmate but I kinda changed the wish. I don't even know."_

"_I kinda just noticed thar I'm too concerned with myself. He's fucking 28 years old and he's the sweetest guy there is. He deserves someone who can mean the fucking world to him. I don't._

Regina typed quickly and maybe a bit too angrily. But how could Emma think for even a second that she didn't deserve love? _You told me you didn't hate yourself, Emma… _

"You do. _Of course you do. You deserve love, you deserve happiness, and I don't even want to argue with you on this one. Everyone deserves this."_

"_You don't even know me. I'm sorry. I just... I don't even know."_

Regina kept going.

"_You're a human being. That much I know. And that fact makes you worthy of love just as much as any other human out there."_

Regina sighed deeply. Everyone did deserve love, right? She had to tell herself that at least. Otherwise… she was screwed.

"_I should just dance with one of these fucking girls to at least feel something_

"_Okay, I can't."_

"_I don't even knoe what I'm doing."_

"_I'm a fucking idiot."_

Regina was frustrated by now. Why didn't Emma listen to her at all? _Yes, you're a stubborn idiot. Please, why won't she just go home…_

"_No. You're drunk and you're sad. And that's not the best combo. I don't blame you for feeling this way. I don't judge you. All I'm asking is that you go. Because you're clearly miserable. Can't you ask for his keys and just go? You shouldn't torture yourself like this."_

One minute passed. And as Emma's messages ticked in, Regina felt her heart sink deep into the pit of her stomach. She shivered. _Fuck_. Emma was angry.

"_No, I'm okay."_

"_Don't fucking pretend to know me."_

"_I'm sorry."_

"_I shouldn't say this."_

"_I'm okay. I'm fine, okay."_

"_Bye."_

_Oh god_. What did she do? What did she say? She was just trying to help, she just wanted Emma to be okay. _Shit_. Was that a goodbye? Was this goodbye? How angry was she exactly? _I have to fix this_. _I…I can't lose her. _

"_I'm sorry, I'm only trying to help. You're not giving off the happiest vibe; I was merely making a conclusion to what I see you write. I'm sorry if I misunderstood something."_

Regina was biting her bottom lip hard in anticipation. Emma sent several messages in reply.

"_I'm sorry."_

"_Just please don't even answer me. I don't deserve it."_

"_I am fucking sad and I would never admit that aloud. I'm happy okay."_

"_I've never like this when I've been drunk. I'm sorry."_

"_Please don't care."_

She couldn't help but feel relieved. She wasn't angry after all. Or maybe her anger towards Regina was muted by her own misery… She was right though. Regina didn't know Emma at all. She'd only known her for four days. But she still felt like she had a responsibility towards her. And the thing was – she could hear herself in Emma's messages. She'd been there. Hell, she often still went there. All these self-destructive thoughts can drive you mad. But she wouldn't wish that upon her worst enemy. And especially not Emma.

"_Well then I'm sorry for dragging it out of you... I just... I don't want you to feel like this. I'm not pretending to know you, cause I know I don't. I'm not saying that I know anything about you. But I can't help caring, even if you tell me not to. If you want me to just shut up and leave you alone then I will."_

Regina didn't know exactly what to do or say. She didn't know what her limits were or what she was even allowed to say. So she just tried to stay true to herself, what she was feeling and thinking, but she was so scared that she'd cross a line. Finally Emma answered.

"_I'm always happy... I don't even know...I'm the one who makes everyone smile, I'm the funny one."_

"_I'm honestly sorry. I care about you. And what I'm doing isn't good for you in any way. Fuck ... I'm just gonna wait for my brother… I can do this. I'm sorry. I've never meant to hurt you. I adore you."_

"_I'm gonna dance my troubles away. I'm sorry. I adore you. And I can't deal with you not being here."_

Regina felt her heart swell inside her chest. Her throat tightened and she had to keep tears from spilling. _"I care about you." _Was it really true? Did this amazing woman really care about her? Did she in any way deserve her? _Oh Emma, you didn't hurt me. God no. _She longed for the blonde to be by her side now more than ever. She was missing her. She was missing someone she'd never met. This was crazy. But even in all this craziness, this drama – it felt right. She took her time replying, and it ended up as a long one.

"_You haven't hurt me Emma. I'm trying hard not to seem like a know-it-all right now, but I know about feeling this way. I'm trying to help because I... I just remember. I remember thinking stuff like you're writing. And of course I don't know you, so I can't know exactly how you feel or even begin to understand, but all I know is that I don't want you to feel this down. I... I'm sorry if I made you angry or even sadder. That wasn't my intention. I'm truly sorry if I did anything to hurt your feelings. Have fun dancing then. I adore you, too. I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now."_

Regina had been lying in her bed, ready to sleep, already when Emma started texting her. Now it was pretty late and she was supposed to get up for class tomorrow, so she really needed to sleep. _It must almost be morning at Emma's by now. Wow. _Once again she wished the blonde would just give up and go home. She waited for Emma to reply, but nothing happened. After ten minutes, she decided she better sleep. So she wrote one last message to Emma.

"_I'll sleep now. I really am sorry if I hurt you. I was just trying to help. Please know that I don't in any way pretend to know you. I would never do anything like that. I would love to get to know you though. Really. I hope you find a way to enjoy the rest of your night out. You do deserve it. Again, I'm really sorry."_

As she put her phone down on her nightstand, it buzzed persistently. She shook her head gently. _Of course._

"_I'm sorry. I'm fine okay."_

"_You didnt hurt me!"_

"_Youre fucking awesome. Have sweet dreams."_

"_I adore you."_

"_I'm the one who needs to be sorry."_

"_Fuck. I shouldnt have said any of those things."_

"_You havent done anything wrong."_

"_I'm fine. Really."_

"_I just sometimes write shit."_

Regina smiled warmly at her phone. This woman. So frustrating but so adorable all at the same time. _What am I going to do with you… _She still wasn't convinced that Emma was indeed fine. But she couldn't worry about that right now. She'd done enough damage already.

"_It's okay. Really. I was only worried that I hurt you. I don't want you to be angry at me. If you say you're fine, then I'll stop bugging you about it. Just know that you can always come to me. Sweet dreams to you when you get there."_

"_If I'm sad it hasnt anytbig to do with you."_

"_I adore yoy."_

"_You could neger hurt me. Youre wat too sweey."_

Regina chuckled. That was sweet, but not entirely true. _Oh Emma, you have no idea what I'm capable of. _

"_Okay then. Adore you too. Oh, believe me, I can bite if I want to. But I don't want to with you."_

Emma simply kept going.

"_Sleep tight, love and Im sorry if I hurt you."_

Regina was a little annoyed by now. She'd told Emma several times she hadn't hurt her, and it was true. She was just… shocked.

"_You didn't, I was only shocked. But I understand now that you didn't mean it. It's fine. Thank you."_

"_Im sorry. I didnt mean to make you shocked or fuck."_

"_I dont really get it but I will once Im sober."_

She really needed to sleep now. And Emma needed to get home and in bed, too.

"_Just enjoy the rest of your night, don't worry about it."_

"_Thank you. I adore you. I'm sorry if I caused you any trouble. _I'm an asshole."

Regina replied quickly, her eyes heavy by now.

"_It's okay Emma, really. I adore you too. Stop worrying about me now, go dance. I'll sleep, it's 12am after all."_

Regina quickly dozed off, Emma the last thing roaming around inside her head. And in her dreams, the blonde was the center of attention. When she woke up the next morning, those emerald eyes were the first thing to enter her mind. And when she checked her phone with sleepy eyes, Emma was there in several unread messages.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Oh my goodness! So, I have awoken from the dead. Or rather, life is finally less messy and I actually found the inspiration to sit down and continue this story. I can't express how sorry I am for the awfully and unacceptably long wait. I hope I haven't lost all of you, because I am still interested in continuing this story! I haven't forgotten it, quite the opposite actually! I promise I will do my best to update more frequently. SO - I present to you, the much too late, chapter 6. I hope you'll still read it and enjoy it, just as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you to everyone who has stuck around, who has faved, followed and reviewed this story so far. Please keep telling me what you think, your words mean the world to me. Much love, xo.**_

* * *

_**May 30**__**th**__**, Thursday**_

Emma had been starring at her phone for the past 20 minutes. She had read over the messages again and again. The faint taste of blood suddenly played on her taste buds. She removed her nails from the grip between her teeth. She'd hadn't noticed just how hard she had been biting them, but two of her fingers were definitely bleeding. The sight made her stomach turn over. She made a gagging sound but bit down on her guts. _I am not going to puke. _She felt surprisingly fine actually. A little headache, but not as bad as it would usually be after a night of heavy drinking. Her conscious was an entirely different matter though. When it came to that, she felt like shit. She buried her face in her hands. _Regina._ _What the hell did I do last night. I've probably screwed everything up big time. As usual. _

She had been trying to find words to express how sorry she was, how guilty she felt. But no matter what she tried, she felt like nothing really sufficed. Regina was probably scarred for life. _Poor, amazingly beautiful Regina. Shit. _She felt her throat tighten. _No_. _I'm not going to cry either. _She took her phone in her hands again. She had to apologize. It was early morning at Regina's now, so she wouldn't see the messages for some time anyway. It gave Emma the time to think while she wrote. She sighed and took a big sip of the glass of water she'd gotten herself earlier. _Here goes._

"_I'm sorry for yesterday. I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have started writing shit._ _You never hurt me. You actually made me feel better. I read through the texts again and again and I've realized that I'm a complete idiot. You don't deserve me throwing accusations at you that don't even concern you. I'm just trying to do the right thing and I terribly suck at it but I'm better than I used to be."_

"_You didn't step over any line. And there is actually nothing you have to apologize for... I'm often just really angry at myself and that only strengthens when I'm drunk so I lash out... to kinda hurt someone else instead of me, to find someone who's responsible for me feeling sad or shit. Thus, I'm really the one who needs to be sorry because you didn't do anything wrong."_

"_And about the whole… hot and wet and stuff. Well, I don't really know what to say other than I'm sorry I was so rash. If I had been sober, I would have handled it better… hopefully. But what do I know. The truth is – this is how I feel. I really do miss you. I really do want to be with you. All these thoughts have been roaming around inside my head for the last few days, and I don't understand them. It scares the shit out of me because I don't know what it is or how it happened. I don't know you. And you don't know me. But I feel like I'm have to know you, you know? I can't stop now. I don't know how to explain it and I seriously hope I'm not freaking you out even more. I'm just trying to explain myself, which I terribly suck at, too. But just know that, I really like you, Regina. I really do. And I hope you will continue to write with me, because I want to get to know you. And I want you to get to know me."_

Emma took a final look at her messages before tossing her phone on her bed and getting up. She was quite satisfied. This was it, this was the truth. If she had truly screwed everything up last night, at least Regina would know the truth about her actions. _Maybe she'll even forgive me. Hell, maybe she even feels the same_. Emma shook her head. It was probably all in her own mind. Her crazy obsession with finding someone who truly cared for her always made her fall for whoever showed her the slightest interest. _But maybe this time it's different… _She kicked at something on the floor. _No. It's not. Stop it. _She made her way to the bathroom. A shower might help clear her head. And it would keep her occupied while she waited for Regina to answer. _For Regina to dump your ass. _She puffed out a frustrated breath while turning on the water. _Why do I always screw up the good things in my life. _She stepped under the steaming cascades of water, starting what would become the longest shower of her life.

* * *

Regina read Emma's messages carefully and thoroughly, several times. Not because she didn't understand them, but because every time her eyes scanned the bundle of words, her heart fluttered inside her chest and she felt tears spring to her eyes. Emma had delivered what was possibly the best apology Regina had ever received. And to top it off, she'd sprinkled it with how much she liked her and wanted to get to know her. Regina couldn't stop smiling, even if her entire face hurt from the tension by now. She was on the bus on her way to the University, so she had plenty of time to answer Emma. And so, she started typing an awfully long message:

"_It's okay Emma. Don't beat yourself up about it, really. At first it made me feel bad, only because I could see that what I wrote was pretty "I know you like I know the back of my hand" and how that must have been really annoying when really, I've known you for a less than a week. And I am really sorry if I made you feel like that. The only thing I was concerned about, that made me feel bad, was if I'd hurt you. If you were angry with me. So you didn't hurt me exactly. And I'm glad that apparently I didn't hurt you either. I really was just trying to help, and even though I don't know you, I still want the best for you. I hope it's okay... If you don't want me psychoanalyzing you then I'll stop. It's just something I always do, but really, I'm sorry if it was just annoying. I want to just get over this whole thing. I don't think it should let either one of us down. Even if you feel like you don't know me and I don't know you, I want you to know that you can always come to me. I want to help if you'll let me, if it's with how you make pancakes or if you have something that's letting you down. But please, please, tell me if I'm stepping over the line. I don't want to do that."_

Regina gulped. It was time to touch the subject that scared her the most. The one that made her insides twist and her heartbeat rise uncomfortably. _Hush. Don't panic. Listen to your heart._

"_Emma… I miss you too. I do. Even if I don't understand it or know how to handle it, I want to be with you. But if I have to be completely honest with you, it kind of scares me. Just because… We've known each other for six days. But I can't help feeling that I have to know you, too. It's just an odd feeling I'm not that familiar with, and I guess that's what scares me. I'm interested in getting to know you, Emma… Because I really like you. I'm sorry I'm so bad at this. I feel I'm just repeating what you said. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I feel the same. So of course I will continue to write with you."_

Regina sighed. Letting people in and expressing her feelings had never been her strong side, and frankly, she felt like she was going to faint. She couldn't determine why she felt this numbing panic, one that wouldn't cease to make her palms sweat and her mind race. She knew Emma wouldn't hurt her, or at least she felt rather confident about that. So why was she this scared?

Regina rubbed at her throbbing temples. She was unable to read the true meaning of her messy feelings, as everything was fogged over by panic. More than anything, she wished she was able to calm down and stop being so scared. But that seemed like a luxury she would never have, no matter how hard she cried for it.

* * *

Emma's hair was still wet and it dampened her t-shirt as she had rushed out of the shower at the sound of her received messages. She didn't care though, as she read through Regina's words. She had trouble believing that this was actually happening, that this was Regina's answer to Emma's major fuck up and pathetic attempt of apology. How could she be so… forgiving. She didn't even seem to think that what Emma had done was a mistake, and that seemed too good to be true for the blonde. Maybe that was simply because no one had ever forgiven Emma for anything throughout her entire life, except for the Nolans'. Everyone else had just tossed her away as soon as she'd stepped even slightly out of line and she'd grown so used to it that receiving acceptance and forgiveness like this seemed like a foreign language to Emma. She had no clue as to what to answer Regina now. Mostly she just wanted to smile at her. Or maybe even hug her.

She typed in her answer quickly, without really thinking. Truth was she had nothing more to say, since she'd spilled everything in her first long message. Now it was just about moving on, away from the awkward silence she feared would stretch between them if she didn't start another conversation. So she decided to ask a very simple, rather boring question.

"_So, what are you up to?"_

Emma could almost sense how Regina was relieved at Emma's change of subject. In an odd way, she felt it through the brunette's words.

"_Not much, simply on my way to University. Almost there by now. What about you?"_

Emma smiled. Maybe they could get back to normal after all. Whatever normal was.

"_Haha okay! I just took a shower, now about to do laundry."_

"_How can you function? Aren't you even slightly hungover?"_

Emma laughed out loud.

"_Surprisingly, no. I have a tiny headache, but other than that I feel pretty fine."_

"_I hate you very much right now."_

Emma's face fell and her palms started to sweat nervously before Regina continued, calming the blonde down.

"_This is so not fair! If I don't get to sleep long enough, the first four hours after I wake up I always feel like I'm about to vomit. I'm always convinced I'm going to die."_

Emma laughed but had to bite down on her guts when her stomach flipped uncomfortably.

"_Fuck. Don't mention that word. I'm not __**that **__fine."_

"_I'm terribly sorry."_

"_Sure you are. Anyway, have fun at Uni."_

"_Why thank you, dear."_

"_I'm sorry, you know I love writing with you. But I just thought I better not, otherwise you'll think of me the whole time, and we can't have that."_

"_I guess you're doing me a favor then."_

"_Exactly."_

Emma couldn't help but smirk. She loved this more than she probably should.

"_But can I just mention that you're beautiful and hot and that I adore your face."_

"_Well now I'll be able to concentrate."_

Emma had to laugh again. Regina was simply too cute for words.

"_I'm so immensely sorry."_

"_Sure you are."_

"_Okay, I'm not."_

"_Didn't think so."_

"_You know me too well."_

"_Maybe in this area I do."_

* * *

Regina went through the entire day focusing on anything but her lectures. In fact she wasn't focusing on anything but Emma. As the blonde had so nicely predicted, Regina was simply unable to keep her out of her mind. Even when she tried to focus on the scribbles on the board or the dull voice of her teachers, shimmering emerald eyes kept gnawing their way back to her thoughts, followed by beautiful blonde locks and dumb jokes. At one point she'd found herself wondering what Emma's voice sounded like. Not singing, since she knew that all too well, but when she spoke. That thought alone had taken her through an entire lecture, and by the time her last school hour ended, she was desperate to hear Emma talk. Even if it was but a simple sentence, a few words, she found an odd longing to hear the blonde's voice.

When Regina finally arrived home, she had a ton of homework to do and her mother made no exception as to remind her the second she sat foot inside their home. She had answered with a dull "Yes, mother" as usual, but in reality she was headed for her room only to check on her messages from Emma. She felt the bitter sting of disappointment when she found that there was none. She debated with herself whether to text the blonde herself, or get started on the homework she had previously decided not to bother herself with at all. Now it was a choice between playing hard to get or not.

Regina reluctantly put down her phone and picked up one of her books and started flipping through it. She found the pages she was supposed to read and got started. Every now and then, she glanced at her phone. More so than she took the notes she was supposed to, if she wanted any chance of remembering what she was reading. But she couldn't shake the urge to write Emma and forget everything else entirely. She knew though, that her mother would take away both her phone and laptop if she were to neglect her school. So really, she didn't have much of a choice. She flipped over her phone and slid it under her pillow before burying her nose in the awfully boring history book.

An hour passed before Regina closed the book, finished with the 30 pages. She'd even crammed out five pages of neatly written notes. Her mother would be pleased. She always demanded to see her schoolwork.

Jumping off her bed, Regina collected her papers and threw everything into her bag again. She felt like she was working on autopilot. Her life was really so dull and uneventful. The only thing exciting about it was Emma. The conversations she had with the blonde were what she looked forward to every day. So when she was quiet, it felt like something was missing all of a sudden. Even if that something hadn't even been there a little less than a week ago.

When Cora had checked and approved of her notes, Regina went back up to her room and sat down on her bed. She stared into the air for a few moments before sighing deeply, throwing herself backwards and landing on the mattress with a dull puff. What to do now? She couldn't help but wonder why Emma hadn't written her. Maybe she was just busy… but then again, wasn't she supposed to be off? Regina laughed mockingly at herself. She should just write Emma already. Homework was done and she had nothing else to do with her time. Nothing else she wanted, at least.

She flipped over on her stomach and fished out her phone from under her pillow. She gasped as her screen flashed with a message ticking in just this second. _How in the world…_

"_Okay I've been trying to hold myself back all day thinking you're busy with school, but now I simply can't leave you alone anymore. So hi."_

Regina felt unexpected tears prick at her eyes and bit down on her high-pitched giggle. She could have jumped with glee right in this moment. She didn't know what to do other than type in her reply.

"_Hi."_

"_Are you busy? I mean am I intruding anything?"_

Regina's smile broadened at Emma's adorable nervous questions.

"_Not at all. You could never intrude on anything, Emma."_

"_Not true. But anyway, great! So how was your day?"_

"_Boring. But I think it might just have gotten better."_

"_Oh? And why is that?"_

"_You know why."_

"_I do. But I'd like you to say it."_

"_Don't be cocky, Ms. Swan."_

"_Can I be booby?"_

"_Really?"_

"_I'm sorry. That was a horrible joke. I take it back."_

Regina rolled her eyes so hard it made her dizzy. This woman was unbelievable. On one hand Regina felt the urge to smack her for her idiocy, and on the other, it was so damn adorable that she couldn't help but simply smile. It was quite annoying actually. What was Emma doing to her…

"_You just can't help yourself, can you?"_

"_It was just to make you smile and I hoped it would, so…"_

"_Well it did. So success."_

"_Okay, now I'm relieved."_

Regina chuckled. A light blushed crept over her face as she typed.

"_You make me smile all the time, you know that."_

"_I don't know that, cause I can't see you."_

Regina's smile faded. That was the bitter reality of it all, wasn't it. She was about to type back something when an idea struck her. She hit the camera symbol and smiled broadly at her phone before clicking send.

"_Can you see me now?"_

To be honest, she found her gesture rather cute. And she hoped Emma would, too. Emma's answer caught her off guard though. Regina's smile grew to the point of pain. Her cheeks always ended up hurting whenever she was writing with Emma.

"_No, I'm blind."_

"_That's too bad."_

"_I know. I wish I could though. I bet you're beautiful."_

"_Well I guess you'll never know."_

"_To me you are, even if I can't see you. And I bet you have brown eyes that can take my breath away and an adorable smile. I'm really missing out on a lot."_

"_You're kind of on to something though."_

"_Sounds like my type."_

There was a little pause in which Regina simply stared at her screen, reveling in how happy she felt. How free she felt. She couldn't remember ever having felt like this. Then Emma wrote something else.

"_But there are a lot of things I don't need to see."_

Regina quirked an eyebrow.

"_What do you mean?"_

"_I mean traits that aren't visible."_

"_And why don't you need to see that?"_

"_Because they aren't visible? I couldn't even see them if I weren't blind."_

"_I'm not sure I follow."_

"_I'm just trying to say I like you for what's on the inside. Not just for your looks. Basically, what can't be seen."_

Regina caught a stray tear with her thumb as she read Emma's messages. Why did this woman have to be so utterly and ridiculously charming? It was unfair. She was practically impossible to resist. It was like she always knew what to say, even if it often came out cluttered and rash. But she still said it. And it made Regina's heart sing.

"_Emma, I… I don't know what to say. I'm adoring you, liking you, much more than I thought I would. Even before I knew who you actually were I liked you. I know that sounds weird, but I hope you get it."_

"_I do. I liked you even when I thought you were a pretentious and kinda mental person who believed in angels."_

"_Hey!"_

"_I'm sorry what were we talking about, I was busy staring at your beautiful face on this picture you sent me."_

"_I thought you were blind."_

"_You've opened up my eyes."_


	7. Chapter 7

**_Hello beautiful people! Yes, this is a very early update yet again. No, you shouldn't get used to it. I intend to update more frequently, but not THIS frequently. Now I'm just on a roll, after having left this story behind for far too long. So here we go with chapter 7, even a bit longer than usual! I would like to give credit to my wonderful and amazingly talented girlfriend Nina (Nin_ja_turtle or well, Miss Blanchfart, on twitter) for providing the beautiful lyrics for this chapter. Any future song by Emma will in fact be written by her, because she's awesome and I can't write songs. I hope you'll enjoy it, and please, let me know what you think. Your wonderful reviews inspire me to keep going. Much love, xo._**

* * *

_**May 31st, Friday**_

"_All of these words come so easily_

_They're coming from deep beneath me_

_Trying so hard to get your attention _

_Some things are lost in translation_

Emma clutched the microphone tightly in her hand as she closed her eyes. The steady beating of August on the drums and light humming of Ruby on the bas brought her to the refrain of the song.

"_Can you feel my lips on top of yours?_

_When I say I'm dying to kiss you_

_Can you feel my eyes are on you?_

_When I look at a picture of you_

_You're everything I want, if I'm honest_

_Is that enough to make you feel wanted?"_

A loud screech filled the small studio and Emma winched before looking to where the sound came from.

"What the hell are you doing?" she almost screamed at Ruby, the previous noise having numbed her ears.

"This song is stupid," Ruby said before slumping down on a stool, crossing her arms, "We don't do love songs. We never have, and I'm not one in favor of starting."

"Last time I checked, I was the only one here who knew how to write a prober song, so maybe you should appreciate the fact that you even have something to play to," Emma growled and glared at Ruby, who mainly stuck out her tongue.

August cleared his throat before speaking up.

"I like it. It's different, but just as awesome as your other songs. I don't mind mashing up our style if it still gives us grade A lyrics."

"You're just saying that because you don't want to piss her off! You're always cradling her."

"Ruby, lay off. What's with you today?" Emma managed to bite down on her anger enough to make her voice sound less hostile. Ruby sighed and threw up her hands.

"I don't know. I'm just on edge with the entire fucking universe. It's like something inside me just wants to be angry. Maybe I'm getting my period or something," she tossed her dark locks over her shoulder before grabbing a beer from the mini fridge, "Sorry guys. Maybe we shouldn't practice today."

August threw a sympathetic look at their ill-tempered friend, before sharing a look with Emma. They both nodded.

"We're almost done anyway. What do you say we go for lunch? My treat," August said and rose from his stool behind the drums. He walked over to Ruby and put a heavy hand on her shoulder. She simply nodded before gulping down the rest of her beer. That girl always inhales everything she eats or drinks, Emma thought to herself.

The three of them shut down all the equipment, before heading to their favorite lunch place _The Cinnamon Apple._ It didn't escape Emma's mind that maybe her newest song addition was too obvious. But what was she to do? She wrote what she felt. And lately, all her feelings were circled around the same beautiful brunette. _I wonder what she's doing right now._

* * *

Regina had woken up at 5:10am to an email stating that all lectures were cancelled due to some chaos with the water pipes. Apparently, the entire lower section of the University was under water and people had been working on the situation since last night. She'd forwarded the email to her mother before turning to her other side and continued sleeping.

Now it was 7:30am and some furious stomping coming from downstairs ripped her from her sleep. She grumbled into the pillow and pulled the duvet over her head in an attempt to die down the noise, but the stomping only grew in intensity as time passed. She sighed deeply before tossing the duvet aside and jumping off the bed. Her parents had already left for work, so she was alone and therefore the only one to open the door for whomever insisted on ruining her chance of extended sleep. She swung open the door, ready to express how displeased she was, but the face she met on the other side of the door made all her muscles tighten and she simple stared, dumbstruck.

"Hello, sis."

"_Zelena," _Regina hissed.

"It's nice to see you too. May I come in?"

"It's your house too. Unfortunately."

Regina moved aside and let in her big sister and closed the door too hard, making it quiver. Zelena looked more like a train wreck than usual and she was obviously exhausted. Her hair was greasy and she'd collected it messily in a bun bouncing on her head. Her clothes weren't all too clean either, as dried up dirt covered her jeans and she had a rip in her t-shirt. She threw her huge backpack on the entre floor with a sigh, and a puff of dusty smoke emerged from all its folds. Regina fanned it away from her face.

"What are you doing here, Zelena?"

"Well as you so politely stated, I live here," the red-haired woman said and smirked wickedly before making her way to the kitchen. Regina followed, only to see her opening one of their dad's imported beers. _It's not even 8 o'clock in the morning. _Regina knew that Zelena was well aware that they weren't allowed to drink them. But as usual, her big sister didn't care for anyone else but her own self.

"You know what I mean. I thought you were backpacking with Jason?"

"I was. That's over now," Zelena said dully before taking a big zip of the beer.

"Why am I not surprised," Regina said sarcastically.

Zelena grinned and took another gulp of beer.

"What would you know, only having one miserably failed attempt of a sexual life."

"It's not just about sex, Zelena."

The auburn haired woman threw her head back laughing in mockery.

"So young, so unwise."

Regina chewed on her bottom lip in anger. Her and Zelena had never had the best relationship, if any at all. It had always been like they belonged to two different worlds. Sometimes Regina questioned if they were really sisters at all. Zelena was unruly, self-centered and careless, and she was always in the company of all the wrong people. But together with people she actually liked, or simply when she wasn't around Regina or any other family members, she was fun, hilarious, and she'd always lived one hell of a life. She was more adventurous and brave than Regina herself, and the brunette had always envied her sister that. But even though she'd made it clear just how much she loved her life, she'd always been jealous of Regina. The younger daughter had always been the parents' favorite, to no surprise really, as she was the earthbound and ambitious one of the two. Either way, Zelena still lived at their house since she never worked steadily, and therefore couldn't afford to live anywhere else. Or maybe she simply didn't want the responsibility of owning anything herself. It wasn't like she was here much anyway, since she was always out drinking or backpacking or breaking the law. Nonetheless, her room was still intact and untouched.

"How long do you plan on staying this time?" Regina tried to keep the hostility out of her voice, but it was difficult.

"I think I'll be sticking around for now, actually." Zelena emptied her beer in one last gulp and threw the bottle into the sink with a loud rattle. Regina raised an eyebrow.

"Really? And for what reason may that be, if I may ask?"

The shift in Zelena's mood caught Regina off guard, and she stumbled backwards when the redheaded woman growled furiously at her.

"I don't need a reason, do I?" she pointed a stiff finger at her younger sister and barred her teeth before continuing "I'm staying, and that's not something you have a say in. So just leave it and shut up."

Zelena spun around on her heel and left Regina numb on the spot. The brunette was staring blankly into the air with her mouth hanging open slightly. She was used to her sister being, well, a bitch, but that outburst had come out of nowhere, even for Zelena. Regina couldn't help but think that there was indeed a reason for her staying, but her big sister was obviously not interested in sharing. Regina didn't care much anyway, as long as she kept out of her business. So she simply shrugged and returned to her room, hoping to catch another hour of sleep. She didn't. As soon as she was alone in her room again, her thoughts ran wild, and suddenly she was way too busy thinking about Emma to focus on sleeping.

* * *

Emma fiddled around with her pasta, lost in her own thoughts. She barely registered the conversation going on in front of her. That was, until Ruby poked her arm with her fork.

"Ouch! What was that for?" Emma whined and rubbed at the sore spot.

"I asked you a question."

"So? You don't have to stab me."

"I obviously do, since you seemed to be miles away. What the hell are you even thinking about?"

Emma looked down on her plate. She wasn't sure how long she'd been twirling the same spoonful of pasta. She scooped it up and answered Ruby with her mouth still full.

"Nothing."

Ruby puffed out a breath in sarcastic mockery.

"That wasn't nothing. Something's up. Spill it."

Emma swallowed thickly before pinning Ruby with a glare.

"When I say it's nothing, it's nothing okay? Leave it."

Ruby threw up her hands in defeat and turned to August to continue their conversation.

Meanwhile, Emma fell right back into her train of thoughts. It wasn't like she was worried or so but… something was just bothering her. Her feelings were bothering her. Mainly because she couldn't comprehend or understand them. She was unable to pin them to something known, and that pissed her off. She hated feeling stupid and being confused. But lately that was all she was. Confused. Or maybe she simply chose to remain so, because she was too scared to face the facts.

If she was completely honest with herself, she knew what was happening. She knew what she was feeling about Regina. But it was too overwhelming to just accept. Even to say out loud. She hadn't even completed the thought. She was afraid to think it, in case it became all too real. So instead she remained in somewhat denial. At least until she was ready to face the truth…

_Maybe I should just tell them. They might be able to help… _She debated that for a good ten seconds, until concluding that telling them would only make things worse. August would tease her and Ruby would simply tell her to get over herself. So she remained in silence. All she wished for in this moment though, was someone she could talk to. Someone who would understand her and whom she was certain wouldn't judge her. But the sad truth was that she didn't. Maybe because she didn't trust anyone enough, but even still, it left her without anyone to confide in. To be honest, she felt lonely. Even if she was the exact opposite. But she couldn't help this feeling of utter loneliness that always hung over her like a dark cloud. The only time she didn't feel lonely was when she was writing with Regina.

That thought woke her up from her trance, and she immediately smiled to herself. She didn't need to figure anything out. For now, she just needed Regina. She decided to write her as soon as she was home from lunch. But this time it was going to be different. This time, she was going to treat it as what she had secretly wished it could be, ever since she'd come to know the beautiful brunette – a date.

* * *

It was 10am when Regina received the message from Emma. She was still in her PJs, curled up in blankets on her balcony in the middle of a book. It was still a bit chilly to sit out here in the early morning, but she didn't care. Whenever the sun was shining, she always sat out there, no matter how cold. And right now her only concern was that Zelena would leave her be.

This time though, it wasn't the late spring breeze that gave her goose bumps. This time, it was those four simple words staring back at her from her screen.

"_I have a question."_

Wasn't it old knowledge that whenever someone said that, along with "We need to talk" and "Can I ask you something?", severe panic would always occur, which was why you should always prevent yourself from saying any of this? Regina scolded Emma a bit for making her so nervous. It was like pushing a big red button marked "DANGER" and it made Regina's palms sweat and her heartbeat rise. She had no choice but to answer.

"_Ask away."_

It took way too long for Emma to answer. Or maybe it just seemed longer than it was, because of how nervous Regina was. But when the answer finally came, the waiting was more than worth it. As Regina read the message, she gasped with such force that she dropped her phone, causing it to bounce on the metal floor, which had the brunette falling off her chair in an attempt to capture it before it fell through the railing. She did so, even if she was now splayed out awkwardly on the little space, her ears burning with embarrassment. At least no one had seen her. She crawled back in her chair to read the message again, making sure that what she had seen before was actually true.

"_What would you say if I asked you out on a date?"_

Regina let out a shrill cackle of unnatural sort. But how was she to contain her excitement. The dark-haired woman was grinning from ear to ear, her heart throbbing rapidly against her rip-cage, unable to contain itself just as Regina herself. She had to stop herself from kissing her screen. Instead, she jumped off the chair and danced around herself a few times, before running inside, bouncing up on her bed. There was no doubt in her mind as to what she would answer, but how to put it was the question. She thought about this for some time, all the while knowing that with every passing second, Emma was probably going more and more out of her mind.

"_I wouldn't be opposed to the idea."_

Regina chewed on her bottom lip. She wasn't sure why she tried to be funnier than she actually was, because she knew she always miserably failed.

"_Was that a yes?"_

Regina hit her face in her hands as she blushed. She should really just have put it as directly as she felt it.

"_Definitely."_

Too much time passed before Emma answered. Regina was hammering her fingers against her phone while she waited. When a message ticked in, she nearly dropped it.

"_Great! I mean that's really awesome. I'm glad."_

Regina smiled sheepishly. Emma was obviously as nervous as she was herself.

"_Do you have time… say, now?"_

"_As a matter of fact I do."_

Regina looked down at herself. Suddenly she felt horribly underdressed. Even if she knew Emma wasn't exactly going to drop by her house, she felt weird sitting in her room in her PJs for what could be called their first date.

"_Actually… can you give me half an hour?"_

"_Sure. Take as much time as you need. I'll just put the wine back in the fridge."_

Regina giggled before bouncing off the bed, sprinting to her bathroom. Thirty-three and a half minutes later she was in a royal blue cocktail dress with three-quarter sleeves and a black zipper down the back. It was one of her favorites. Especially because of the unique front with two crossing triangles, and the purple belt right above her waist. Her hair she wore in her signature braid, with a bow matching the color of her dress, and her makeup was light, although her lips a deep red. She knew it didn't make the slightest sense to dress up, but she felt more confident this way.

"_I'm ready."_

Emma's reply was prompt and it made Regina quirk a now perfectly plugged eyebrow.

"_Knock-knock."_

Was she going to start this off by telling horrific jokes?

"_Who's there?"_

"_Me."_

"_Me who?"_

"_No one. Just me. I'm knocking on your door. It's a date right? So I'm picking you up. I even brought flowers."_

Regina's smile was too big for her face and her cheeks were already hurting immensely. If Emma wasn't charming, then who was.

"_Well then I guess I should open the door for you."_

"_Please do. I'm an impatient woman."_

Regina considered actually walking to her front door, but quickly dropped the idea since that would be too ridiculous.

"_Hello Ms. Swan. Oh what lovely flowers. Purple roses, how did you know?"_

"_Wild guess. And please, call me Emma."_

"_Emma."_

"_Regina. You look breathtaking this evening."_

"_Thank you, Emma. As do you."_

"_I'm really in sweatpants and a yellow hoodie but thank you."_

"_Hush. Don't ruin the magic._

"_My apologies. Are you all ready to go?"_

"_Where are you taking me?"_

"_It's a surprise. Just follow me."_

A bit of awkward silence followed as Regina didn't quite know what was going to happen next. Even still, she was excited, practically bouncing on her bed in anticipation.

* * *

Emma let a suitable amount of time pass before she wrote Regina again. She was grinning like a fool, feeling quite pleased with her own idea. Hopefully Regina was enjoying it as much as she was herself.

"_We're here."_

"_And where exactly is here, if I may ask?"_

Emma took a deep breath. This could end either way.

"_It's a meadow. Or not as much of a meadow as it's a grass field. But it's beautiful. You can see it stretch far into the horizon, with a few houses here and there. Behind us is a little forest, with a path leading through a village. But most importantly, there's this picnic right in front of us in the grass. Let me take your hand. I'll make sure you won't get dirt on your beautiful dress."_

Emma waited for Regina to answer, chewing furiously on her nails. Why was she so nervous? It's not like it was a real date. Even if she wanted it to be.

"_Emma…"_

The blonde sucked in an uneven breath.

"_Yes?"_

"_This is wonderful."_

"_I'm glad you think so."_

As she exhaled, she mentally high-fived herself. So far it was a success.

"_Now, let's eat. I've heard the food is awesome."_

"_Did you make it yourself?"_

"_Exactly."_

Emma contemplated what to do next. She wanted to get to know Regina. She was so curious to get to know the woman behind the beautiful face. Or at least know more of her. Suddenly, an idea struck her.

"_Do you wanna play 20 questions?"_

"_Are you serious?"_

"_Sure, why not? I mean I want to get to know you. This seems like the perfect way."_

"_I guess you're right. Alright, lets."_

"_Awesome! You start."_

"_Hey now, it was your idea!"_

"_And since I'm the mind behind this brilliant idea, I say it's only fair that you ask the first question."_

"_Sigh. As you wish. But I'm really horrible at questions."_

Emma watched time pass as Regina thought of a question. When it had been nearly five minutes, Emma was about to suggest she would start, but then came a question from Regina.

"_What's your favorite thing about yourself?"_

_Damn_. That was a tough one. There was more Emma disliked about herself than stuff she liked. She chewed on her bottom lip, deep in thought.

"_My humor I guess. But I'm not quite sure since I have a love/hate relationship towards it. I tend to make fun of everything and sometimes also my feelings. I kinda wish I was more serious about some things cause I sometimes hurt people with my sarcastic comments even if I really mean the exact opposite. So yeah… what about you?"_

"_I would just like to say that I adore your humor. Now, are we allowed to ask questions back?"_

"_I vote yes. Otherwise I'll be left way too curious."_

"_Good point. Well then I would have to say my passion, in almost anything I do, really. If it's laughing too loudly over something that wasn't funny or crying too hard over something that wasn't that sad. I guess I've always been driven by this passion of mine, even if it has also brought me great pain. I tend to think this is why I've always had the silly idea of becoming a writer."_

"_It's not silly, Regina. Don't say that."_

"_I believe it's your turn to ask a question."_

Emma took the hint and decided to take this matter up some other time. She asked the question she'd already picked.

"_What's your biggest dream?"_

"_I have a lot of dreams."_

"_We all do. But what's your biggest one?"_

"_To follow my heart. To not let anything or anyone stop me from doing what I want."_

Emma felt her throat tighten. Normally when people said this, it seemed so shallow. But with Regina, Emma knew there was something more. And she was desperate to find out what it was. But she also knew it was too soon to ask.

"_That's a good dream."_

"_Thank you. Do you have a dream of your own?"_

"_I do. I want my own family. A place to feel home and in love."_

"_That's a lovely dream, Emma."_

"_This is getting quite emotional, isn't it?"_

"_It is."_

"_Do you want to stop?"_

"_No."_

Emma smiled softly. Sometimes she had trouble figuring this brunette beauty out.

"_Well then, I believe it's your turn."_

* * *

"_What's your most precious childhood memory?"_

Regina had finally been able to come up with a question without spending half an eternity. This one she was actually quite proud of, even if it seemed to be tough for Emma to answer.

"_Shit. I don't know."_

"_Take your time."_

And so she did. Ten minutes passed before Emma's answer ticked in.

"_I used to play Gameboy a lot. I had this one friend I played with every day. Um, we liked all the same things, and we've always lived close to each other. His name is August. He's still my best friend. That's so not special but I didn't want to tell you sad shit or so."_

Regina smiled, a bit confused. Whenever she asked about Emma's past, the blonde seemed rather reluctant to say much but she always mentioned that it wasn't a happy story. It made Regina nervous, not to mention curious. She wanted to know so much, everything really, about this wonder of a woman who had mysteriously entered her life.

"_This is a wonderful memory, Emma. I'm glad he's still your friend. You must really have a special bond."_

"_Yeah, we do. He's like a brother to me. Anyway, what about you?"_

"_Well this is also a tricky one for me… I guess the first thing that springs to my mind is one of my family's old traditions. Every summer, everyone would gather around our house for a special meal – eel. My dad used to go fishing with his old friend so the eel was captured by them. The only time we ate it was this day. I don't remember it entirely, since we stopped doing this long ago. It doesn't seem like much, but it was just… amazing. We would sit out until long after dark, wrapped up in blankets by a fire. I remember always feeling so safe on this day. It was back when everything was still easy I guess."_

"_I love this. It sounds lovely."_

"_Thank you. Now you go."_

Emma's next question had Regina stiffen. She was caught off guard by the sudden seriousness, and the possible meaning behind this question had her panicking.

"_Do you believe in love at first sight?"_

Regina stared into the air while contemplating what to say. Her experience with love spoke against believing in such a phenomenon, but the dreamer inside of her made it hard to resist believing in the possibility. She wanted to believe it. It gave her hope. And the things she'd been feeling recently had her question everything anyway. She kept postponing the moment where she had to sit down and actually let herself think about what was happening. Face it. It terrified her to her bones.

"_In some ways I do. I believe that love knows no boundaries, and therefore it might not be bound by things such as how long you've known each other. I think it's quite possible to meet someone you just connect with on every level, and that that grows into love. So yes, maybe I do. How about you?"_

"_Same as you."_

Emma's short answer had Regina worried. Something seemed to be bothering the blonde.

"_It's your turn to ask a question now."_

Regina nodded as if Emma could actually see her in this moment. She smiled to herself when writing her question.

"_What's your idea of the perfect date?"_

Emma's answer was one single word, but it held much more. It held a promise.

"_This."_

Regina grinned like a fool. Her stomach was twirling almost uncomfortably, and she had trouble keeping track of all the things her body was doing.

"_May I ask you something else, Emma?"_

"_Sure. It's getting late anyway. I promised your parents to have you home by nightfall. So lets call your question the end of the game."_

Regina blushed at Emma's reference to the pretend date. She was simply too cute for words.

"_Why did you bring me here, to this field?"_

"_It's where I go to write my songs. And lately, a lot of those songs have been about you. I just wanted you to see it. Actually, hold up."_

Regina waited patiently with a blinding smile on her face. _"A lot of those songs have been about you." _What was Emma doing to her? She had never felt this way. So… light. Light headed, light hearted. She felt like she was floating among high clouds. And if that was so, she never wanted to find her way back to the ground again.

A message ticked in. It was a picture. A picture of a beautiful grass field, bathed in the breathtaking light of a sunset emerging. Regina had to gasp when she took in the sight. _She went there. She actually went there. _She didn't know what to say. Or what to do. She looked down at herself, remembering her attire. It was the least she could do. She got off the bed and stood in front of her mirror, taking a picture of herself and pressed send.

"_Thank you for showing me that, Emma. It's stunning."_

"_Oh my… you got dressed."_

"_Of course I did. It was a date after all."_

"_Screw this sunset. Regina, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen."_

"_Oh stop it. Don't exaggerate."_

"_I'm not. I'm really not. Everything about you takes my breath away."_

"_Thank you, Emma."_

"_No need. Just believe me."_

Silence fell upon them. Regina felt hot tears prick at her eyes and she swallowed hard against a sudden lump in her throat. How could Emma do this to her? Whatever it even was, since Regina was still not sure about that. Or maybe she was. Maybe she was simply denying what was right in front of her. But she was just so scared, of so many things. And this fear was holding her back with a grip sometimes stronger than herself. She resented this fear, but no matter how hard she tried to fight it, it was rooted too deep within her for her to break free. But maybe, just maybe, she would be able to do so, with help. Emma's help. Maybe, this was the time for her to be happy. To be free.

"_Regina?"_

Regina sniffled and took a deep breath. Her hands were shaking as she typed.

"_Yes?"_

"_I like you."_

"_I like you too, Emma."_

"_No, I mean. I __**really **__like you."_

Regina's breath caught hard in her throat. Her heart was throbbing uncomfortably against her ribcage but even still she smiled. Was she happy? Was she scared? Did she feel the same? She didn't know. She didn't know anything and it frustrated her to the point of anger, because all she wanted was to give Emma a clear answer. A right answer. She knew she felt the same. Didn't she? Otherwise, why would she smile every time she received a message from Emma? Why would she think about her constantly? Why would she imagine what it would be like to actually be with her? She wouldn't do any of this if she didn't have feelings for Emma.

And there it was, just like that. The truth. It scared her just as much as she'd known it would. It made her quiver almost violently and for a moment she felt like she couldn't breathe. But then she laughed. She laughed loud and carefree, tears dripping down her cheeks as she reveled in the feeling of finally being true to herself and stop denying what was right there. It was very simple after all.

Regina had feelings for Emma Swan.


	8. Chapter 8

_**A/N: **__**Hello my favorite people! So here's yet another chapter for you. I have to warn you, this is a bit on the heavy side compared to previous chapters, with lots of thinking and not as much talking. I still hope you will enjoy it, as this is where we dig a little deeper into these two and their personalities, and I felt like that was needed.**_

**_Some of you may be wondering why I've chosen to write Regina this neurotic, with severe anxiety for loving and trusting other people, basically as a woman with a lot of emotional problems. The reason for this is simply that this is how I see her. This is how I think she would have ended up, in the real world where she wouldn't get magical powers and become the evilest evil of all evils. Instead I see her as a very fragile and insecure woman, with little trust in herself let alone anyone else. Cora is mainly to blame for this, as we all well know. And then the situation with Daniel. I just felt like I should clear this up. Feel free to ask me any questions you may have._**

_**NOW - lets get on with it! Credit to my beta Caryn for basically saving my ass time and time again. **_

_**I hope you'll enjoy this chapter. As always, reviews are highly appreciated. Your words mean more to me than I could ever say. Much love, xo**_

_**DESCLAIMER: Some lines between Emma and David are not by me, but taken directly from Once Upon A Time. I do not own anything, all credit goes to the show and the writers. I simply loved this moment between them and thought I'd use it.**_

* * *

_**Saturday, June 1st**_

Emma had been pacing around her room for hours, trying to gather her thoughts and her feelings. Ever since their "date" last night, things had kinda felt tense and unresolved. She'd slept horribly, tossing and turning all night, thinking about Regina and what a mess this had actually become.

Emma was falling for her. She was falling for her hard, and she'd probably been falling steadily ever since the day they met, and now it was too late to stop it. She was too far in and all she could hope for now was that Regina would catch her on her way down. What she feared was that she was falling too fast for Regina to follow, so the blonde was left unsure and flustered about what to do.

On one hand, she knew this wasn't going to be easy either way. They lived in two different countries so far away from each other it might as well have been two worlds entirely. But on the other hand, Emma had never gone for anything easy in her life. She'd always travelled down the hard path whether by her own choice or not. The only problem was Regina…

Not that the breathtaking, beautiful brunette was a problem, but Emma could sense that something was holding Regina back. Something was making it difficult for her to let herself fall headfirst. Emma could also sense that that was initially what the brunette wanted. She'd always been good with people, good at knowing them, and picking up what was going on behind the façade. She could always tell a lie from the truth. But with Regina, all she knew was that there was something more to the brown-eyed beauty. Her problems were hidden so deeply beneath her olive skin that it made it impossible for Emma to read her. Probably also because the blonde had never actually _seen _her or even talked to her.

This was a problem. Frankly, there were so many problems concerning this situation that Emma didn't know where to start. She needed someone to talk to, to confide in, because she was too overwhelmed to think clearly herself. She needed to say these things out loud, get them out of her head and out in the open for her to even think about how to solve them.

That's when she'd sat down and started thinking about who to pick from the handful of people she actually trusted. She quickly decided that Mary Margaret would not be the one. The older woman was simply too… innocent. Emma felt like she would jump right off the second Emma mentioned the fact that it was a girl who was causing all this trouble. They'd never sat down and had that talk. Emma rarely came out to her foster parents, because she usually didn't stay for more than a couple of weeks, and once she'd even been sent back solely because of her sexuality. She'd decided long ago that it wasn't worth the trouble, but maybe this time it would be different… She was almost certain neither Mary Margaret nor David would judge her, but she also had the feeling that David would somehow be the most accepting one of the two. Somehow Mary Margaret seemed too snow white to at least not be a bit startled.

Since Emma really didn't feel like dealing with Ruby's immature comments about how Emma just needed to get laid _in this country_, and since she was unsure if August even knew the word _relationship, _she was left with David. Somehow she felt quite comfortable with this thought. He was such a righteous and charming guy, and suddenly Emma felt like he'd be perfect to talk to and know exactly what to tell her to calm her down. She'd always felt like she had a better connection with him than with her foster mother, not that she liked Mary Margaret any less. Emma and David simply had more things in common.

In making her decision, she couldn't wait to get all these nagging feelings off her chest, so she sprinted into the living room where she found both her parents seated at the couch reading the paper. They both raised their heads at Emma's sudden burst through the door and two sets of quirked eyebrows met her as she stumbled over her own words.

"Dav – I mean Dad, I was um, wondering if I could like, talk to you about something that's kind of a bit important. Like now?"

She watched as they both snorted in an attempt to keep from laughing. David rose from his chair and held one of his strong hands to Emma's forehead.

"Are you sick, Em?"

Emma puffed out a breath and pursed her lips at him in annoyance.

"Just… can you come into my room?"

David looked a bit concerned now, and he nodded as he gestured for her to walk on by. Emma looked over her shoulder quickly to catch the brown eyes of her foster mother. She wasn't surprised to see that Mary Margaret looked rather hurt and also confused. Of course she wouldn't understand why Emma wouldn't choose her for help. Emma couldn't deny the twist her heart made as she smiled softly at the pixie haired woman, whose smile back was shattered by her confusion. Emma suddenly felt guilty for not just talking to both of them… She decided she would definitely tell Mary Margaret – at some point.

When both her and David were inside her room, Emma closed the door a little too fast and pressed her back against it as she exhaled unsteadily.

"Emma, what's up? Is something wrong?"

Emma took a few tentative steps forward and sat down on her bed, patting the spot beside her. David sat down.

"So, um…. There's this thing."

David smirked.

"Yeah? And what exactly is that thing?"

"I just haven't talked to anyone about this yet and I'm really nervous because I don't know what you're going to say, and I don't want you to change your view on me cause I'm still me and this is just a shitty situation and I don't know what to do because I really need to talk to someone and you just –"

"Emma," David put a hand on her shoulder, "Breathe. Now tell me. Nothing you have to say could make me love you any less."

Emma felt her throat tighten at his words. She laughed at herself, shaking her head. _Here goes nothing_.

"I've met this girl."

* * *

Regina had never been happier about it being a Saturday. Usually, she was happy she could spend her time however she pleased, even if that was mostly reading or being with Kathryn and Belle. Today though, Regina wasn't going to do either of those things. She'd actually canceled her plans with her friends because she wasn't mentally up for more than staring blankly out her window or pacing her floor until the carpet had holes. This whole Emma Swan thing was driving her mad. She couldn't recognize ever having felt like this. At least not the good and warm feeling that resonated within her. But the panic… that she knew.

It wasn't like she ever really understood why she was so scared of love. Or loving again. Wasn't it normal for teenage girls to get walked all over by teenage boys? She'd seen it multiple times, and never had the girl ended up an emotional wreck such as herself. So why was she different? That was a question she'd asked herself many times when the night was too dark and too lonely, but she'd never been lucky enough to find an answer.

Even now, she felt that choking tightness in her throat and chest that made her feel like she couldn't breathe. And she was so angry. She was so angry at herself, at this feeling. She didn't want to feel like this. She didn't want to be different. She simply wanted to be happy, to let herself feel, fall in love, be in love, and stay in love without having to deal with this… anxiety.

The truth was, even though she wanted to be free from this burden, even though she'd tried to fight it and bury it where it could never be found, it was more complicated than that. She just couldn't. It was controlling her, affecting her choices and her judgment. More than once, she'd run from an opportunity of happiness because she was too much of a coward to go for it. Being happy wasn't such a terrible fate, but it sure as hell wasn't an easy one either. Not for her. Explaining how she felt wasn't easy even when she was just trying to understand it herself, and she doubted that anyone else ever would. Or that anyone would ever try…

She knew she had some form of anxiety, and if she ever went to a psychologist, he'd probably diagnose her as soon as she stepped in the door, but that would be over her dead body. Sure, she had demons to fight, but she was sure as hell going to do it on her own. Maybe she was weaker than some people, but she was _not _weak. She would do this her way.

By the looks of it, that had to be now, because on the other side of the planet was a beautiful blonde making her way under Regina's skin and into her otherwise exceptionally guarded heart. Emma was climbing over walls Regina had built to make sure no one would ever dare climb them, and she was powerless to stop it. She had even let it happen. For some unexplainable reason, Regina had allowed Emma to flirt with her, and she had allowed herself to flirt back. She had let Emma into her life without second-guessing it like she usually did. She was unable to explain why, but she trusted Emma. Something about her just felt… _right. _

It was the revelation of those feelings that had her flipping out this Saturday. She hadn't eaten anything, and she was still in her PJ's even though it was almost 2pm. She'd rolled right out of bed and onto the floor, and she hadn't left her room once. She hadn't slept much, if any at all, as so many feelings had kept her awake. She was surprised no one had been up to check on her yet, but she was not going to complain. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to escape reality just for a moment, so she could crawl into her own head and sort out her thoughts and feelings like a librarian sorted out books. She imagined them neatly placed on shelves, all marked and easy to pick and understand, but she knew very well that nothing close to that was ever going to happen.

Just as she made her first move in what seemed like hours, rising from the floor to shake her numb legs, her door flew open and banged against the wall, startling her.

"What the hell?" Regina exclaimed as she turned to see who was intruding on her like this. The face she was met with didn't surprise her.

"My, my, little sis. What if I had been mother? What would she say about your messy language?"

"Get out, Zelena. I'm not in the mood."

"Oh, what even has gotten into you? You look terrible."

Regina took one step forward, clenching her fists, her glare cold as ice.

"I _said _– I'm not in the mood."

"For someone who's not in the mood, you sure as hell are moody."

Regina was about to march straight into Zelena's personal space and give her a piece of mind when her phone went off with the first message she'd received all day. She stopped mid step and stood frozen on the spot for a moment. She'd been worried out of her mind as to why Emma hadn't made a single sound all day, and now the blonde had chosen the worst of all moments to announce that she was still alive. Regina's eyes flickered to her phone, and even though she tried to stop it, the hint of glee that spread across her face was reluctant to stay hidden.

Watching Regina's reaction, Zelena made a quick conclusion and smirked.

"Now I see. This is about a boy." The grin on Zelena's face made Regina shiver. Even if she was in no way scared of her big sister, something about her presence was simply unsettling.

"Tell me, sis – are you upset with him for forgetting your birthday? Or did he fondle your gentle virgin breasts without permission? Oh that's right. You're not a virgin. What was his name again? Daniel? The guy who cheated on you?"

Regina's blood was boiling and her hands were trembling with anger, but she refused to be played by her sister's tricks. She simply swallowed hard and forced a smile so stiff it hurt her cheeks.

"Get out of my room. _Please_."

"What's his name? Is it someone from school? Or maybe a teacher?" Zelena wiggled her eyebrows mockingly as she asked her questions while her voice was dripping with sarcasm. Regina's smile faded, but she kept her anger under her mask even still.

"It's not what you think."

"Well then, tell me dear sister, cause I'm _dying _to know."

Regina just about had enough, and she pointed a stiff finger towards her door as she snarled at her redheaded sister.

"Get. Out."

"Alright, if you must be such a child about it," Zelena said and held her hands up in fake defeat as she ducked out, without closing the door.

As Regina walked to close it herself, she heard Zelena's mocking voice down the hall.

"But be aware little sis – I'll find out."

Regina slammed the door shut and immediately kicked at her chair, grabbed a pillow only to fling it across the room, making several of her books fall over as it crashed against the bookshelf with more force than she thought she had in her. As she calmed down, she sat on the bed and speculated if she should take Zelena's "threat" seriously. Right now though, she had more important things to focus on. A message from one Emma Swan was waiting and she was both scared and excited to hear from her again.

When she read over the question Emma had sent her, Regina's phone dropped out of her hands.

* * *

"So you really think I should just ask her?"

Emma had asked David that same question three times now, and with her head in her hands she exhaled with a deep sigh. She was so flustered over this whole situation, she could barely recognize herself anymore. This was not very Emma Swan. David chuckled and shook his head.

"Emma – you like her, right?"

Emma sighed again.

"Yeah…"

"You like her a lot, right?"

Emma furrowed her brows and pursed her lips.

"Don't make it awkward, dad."

David laughed.

"You asked for my help, now don't complain about it."

"I know, I know, it's just… I always screw up the good things in my life you know? But this time I really, _really _don't want to screw up. She's special. I can just feel that she is, but with my record, I'm bound to fuck it up before it's even started. And I'm just scared that I'll scare her away if I'm too forward or if things are going too fast. That's why I want to be sure before I ask her…"

David took Emma's sweaty hands in his and squeezed.

"Emma, you can't think like that. Don't expect the worst. If you think like that, you'll miss out. There's more to life than just looking for the next fight. You gotta look for the moments."

Emma quirked an eyebrow at her dad and smirked.

"Moments?"

"Yes," David said and gave her a look telling her to stop being so reluctant, "Life is made up of moments. Good ones, bad ones, but they're all worth living."

Emma sighed.

"Well I seem to be a magnet for the bad ones."

"All the more reason to look for the good moments in between the bad ones."

"And you think asking Regina would be a good one?"

"I don't know."

Emma rolled her eyes.

"Reassuring."

"Emma, it's not that big of a deal. You like this girl. If you want to find out if she's worth it, you have to take the next step."

"I'm not sure I'm ready."

"What's the harm in finding out?"

Emma looked into David's calm eyes. His smile was so warm she could almost feel it radiate into her.

"It's just… I think she's really fragile. I want to mend her, not break her."

"Emma, you're not asking her to marry you. She'll be fine."

"You really think so?"

"If she feels the same way about you that you do about her, I'm sure she'll be running on the walls when you ask her."

"Hey!"

"I'm just kidding, Em. But I've never seen you like this before. It's fascinating."

David's attempt to hide his smirk failed miserably and Emma gave him a punch to the shoulder before laughing awkwardly.

"Shut up."

"Language, young lady."

They both laughed for a few moments before a comfortable silence fell over them. Emma looked down at the floor.

"Thank you… for being so understanding. Also about the whole… me being gay and all."

"Emma," David grabbed Emma's chin gently and lifted her head to look into his eyes, "Like I said - Nothing could make me love you any less."

Emma felt that emotional lump in her throat that she both hated and appreciated. She blinked away the tears threatening to spill on her cheeks.

"I love you too."

She watched as David inhaled sharply.

"And that is the only thing that matters to me. That and the fact that you trusted me enough to tell me. Thank you."

Emma smiled softly at David, who returned her smile with a big hug before he rose from the bed. As he was about to exit her room, Emma spoke up again.

"So you really think I should just ask her?"

"Ask me that one more time and you're grounded."

* * *

Regina was wheezing into a pillow, a corner of it stuck between her teeth as she tried to calm down her nerves. _Breathe. Just breathe. In. Out. In. Out._

She'd been sitting like this for the past ten minutes, her phone still on the floor. She still couldn't believe what she'd read. Or why she was overreacting like this. Was it really that big of a deal? No, it wasn't. It was only to be expected. They couldn't just keep going like this, texting and going on imaginary dates, if they both wanted to explore this opportunity further. This was only the natural next step.

But so many things could go wrong. So many things could make Emma realize what a bore Regina really was, or what an emotional mess she was, or how she was simply not interested in the brunette anyway. Regina was terrified of Emma finding a reason to turn her back on her, because she didn't want the blonde to leave. She wanted her to stay right here, in her life. Which made this all the more terrifying.

Another ten minutes of wheezing passed before Regina finally crawled to the end of her bed and picked up her phone. She stared at the message without blinking and contemplated what to answer. It was all too scary and too much. What if she said something wrong? What if she wore the wrong thing? What if she had something stuck between her teeth? So many what ifs were going through Regina's mind in this moment and it made her dizzy.

She knew that turning off her thoughts would serve her best. Just turn off the worries thrown at her by her screaming thoughts. She needed to listen to her heart, but all of that was easier said than done. So she continued to stare at her phone until her eyes burned.

She typed.

Deleted.

Typed.

Deleted.

She knew what she wanted to answer. She just had to type it and send it. Just type and send. Type. Send.

"_Hi Regina. So I've been meaning to ask you this, and I really hope I won't freak you out or anything but… Would you maybe like to Skype with me one day?"_

Typed.

Sent.

* * *

_**A/N: On another note - thank you so much to anyone who read my one shot "Holding On &amp; Letting Go". The response I got blew me away and it really means the world to me. Thank you.**_


End file.
